Some people believe that it is good to share as much information as possible in scientific research, business, and the academic world. Others believe that some information is too important or too valuable to be shared freely. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.
In
this
current world, some people believe that sharing much information
about academic things, business, and science is a good thing to do, while
others think otherwise
. From my perspective, there are truths for both of the views. The following paragraphs will clarify my stance.
Firstly
, some individuals agree that sharing data on education, corporations, and research is a wise idea. This
open information
will lead to greater benefits because the more people know, the more they gain knowledge. For example
, there is an open-source website on the internet that allows society to learn multiple skills, like knitting, breeding, carving, and plumbing. By learning from this
source, people will be more skilled in everything mentioned before. These humans will benefit from that. Therefore
, sharing information
is a great thing.
Secondly
, however
, some information
was too valuable to be shared without any compensation, regarding how much money has been involved in collecting the data. Furthermore
, this
activity has also
demanded much effort from the actors. For instance
, when COVID-19 viruses spread all over the world, some laboratories conducted various experiments to solve these problems. These researchers spent a huge amount of funding and a lot of hard work. When the result came out in the form of a vaccine, it was sold at an expensive price. It was fair enough to pay back those involved in the experiments. Thus
, it was understandable that some data could not be shared freely.
On balance, since sharing free information
is a good thing to do and paying for the information
is also
fair enough, it is hard for me to draw a conclusion, about which idea that
I support.Correct word choice
apply
Submitted by mayaanita.studi on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Try to provide a more definitive conclusion expressing your own opinion clearly, as the prompt asks for a discussion of both views and your personal stance. A firmer conclusion will strengthen your task achievement score.
coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, consider linking your paragraphs more smoothly by using transitional phrases that not only show contrast but also how one idea builds upon another.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, make sure to elaborate on why you view both points as valid with deeper analysis or more detailed examples, thus providing a richer discussion of the topic.
logical structure
You've structured your essay well, with clear paragraphs for each viewpoint and a conclusion, which aids in the logical structure of your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
You presented both views on the importance and risks of information sharing in a balanced manner, demonstrating a thorough understanding of the essay topic.
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are present and well-formed, which frames your essay effectively and helps readers understand your discussion's flow.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!