In recent years, there has been growing interest in relatiosnhip between eqaulity and personel achievements. Some people beileve that individuals can achieve more in egalatarian socties. Others believe that high level of personel achievements are possible only if individuals are free to succeed or fail according to their individual merits Discuss both sides and give your own opinion

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Nowadays,
society
is
knee
Add an article
a knee
show examples
in how equality and personal achievement are related. There are two opposite thoughts regarding
this
topic. It is accepted that successful work can be done in a liberal environment
while
other
people
think success depends on a person's values. Human
rights
and freedom of speech and ideas are the essential
factors
which allow
people
to
persuade
Verb problem
pursue
show examples
their dreams and achieve them.
This
is what egalitarian societies suggest to their members.
People
can be sure and feel safe that no one can prevent them
to reach
Change preposition
from reaching
show examples
their goals because there is a healthy competition where everyone has equal
rights
and opportunities.
For example
, the most well-known universities like Harvard, Oxford, MIT, and Cambridge are located in developed countries where they support equality within
society
and they have so many international students who come from other parts of the world. They know that they will have opportunities which their own country doesn't give them. The reason why those universities are successful is that they were established in an environment where innovative and smart
people
were allowed to realise their ideas without interventions and they were protected by civil
rights
.
However
, not all successful
people
come from
such
places. If we study history, there are many examples that individuals who were not allowed to bring new thoughts to
society
or share their discoveries with others.
For instance
, Malala was born in a
society
where they don't respect women's
rights
and don't let girls study.
Although
she was threatened by killing, she followed her own beliefs and made a big impact on the whole world.
Therefore
to achieve something does not only
depends
Correct subject-verb agreement
depend
show examples
on outside
factors
but
also
the values that someone follows play an important role in the way go to target. In conclusion, individuals need both
factors
to be successful. But no one should lose hope because they do have not both of them at the same time. In my opinion, self-confidence and self-awareness are the key
factors
that help humans in order to live their dreams.
Submitted by zemamikayil on

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task response
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coherence and cohesion
Well-structured essay with clear main points and arguments.
task response
Good use of examples to support the arguments.

Your opinion

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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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