Some people think that the best way to stay fit is to join a gym or a health club, while others think doing everyday activities such as walking and climbing stairs is sufficient. Discuss both view and give your opinion.
Each
people
want to be a
healthy and handsome, and some Correct article usage
apply
people
think that if they want
stay fit, they should do Add the particle
towant
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
activities
, such
as walking or climbing stairs everyday
, whilst others think that the best Replace the word
every day
way
is to go to the gym
or attend a health
club. In my opinion, the best way
to be a
healthy and get Correct article usage
apply
a
fit is to Correct article usage
apply
joining
gyms or Change the form of the verb
join
health
clubs,
because I think that everyday Remove the comma
apply
activities
cannot give that opportunities
, which can give a Change the determiner
that opportunity
those opportunities
gym
. The both
sides will be discussed in Remove the article
Both
this
essay.
On the one hand, doing activities
can give a
good Remove the article
apply
health
, but people
cannot stay fit with
walking or climbing stairs Change preposition
by
everyday
. Replace the word
every day
People
may think that it is the best way
because of
it is not so expensive like Change preposition
apply
other kind
of Change the wording
another kind
other kinds
sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
, also
they may think that it is the most available sport
activity. But, Change the noun form
sports
people
cannot take a
fit that they want after walking Correct article usage
the
everyday
, it may take some Replace the word
every day
of
Change preposition
apply
calories
, but not so much Add an article
the calories
like
they want. Replace the word
as
For instance
, from
Change preposition
in
British
Correct article usage
a British
scientists
experiment, when they ask Change noun form
scientist's
to
volunteers walk Remove the preposition
apply
everyday
, Replace the word
every day
people
actually do usual
things and in the evening walk, after Correct article usage
the usual
3 month
experiment Add a hyphen
3-month
people
lost 5-6 kilogramms
, which is Correct your spelling
kilograms
kilogrammes
also
good, but no
so much Correct your spelling
not
like
in gyms.
Change preposition
as
On the other hand
, by going gym
and health
clubs, people
can take the body that they want. After trainings
in Change the wording
training
pieces of training
this
type of sport
Change the noun form
sports
activities
, people
can lost
many Change the verb form
lose
be lost
of
Change preposition
apply
kilogramms
Correct your spelling
kilogrammes
kilograms
that
they can, Correct word choice
apply
also
they can take a wanted mass, because of very
high weights of things in gyms. Correct article usage
the very
For example
, there are lots of stories of any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
, who be a
strong after Change the article
apply
trainings
. like Paul Armstrong, whose weight was 150 kilos and after Change the wording
training
pieces of training
2 year
Add a hyphen
2-year
Change preposition
of trainings
trainings
Change the wording
training
pieces of training
people
cannot know him, he still
85 Add a missing verb
is still
kilogramms
nowadays and have a beautiful figure.
In conclusion, there are a lot of Correct your spelling
kilogrammes
kilograms
activities
, which can give a
very good Remove the article
apply
health
and still fit and each of them can help with it. Actually, join
Wrong verb form
joining
gym
and health
clubs have best
Correct article usage
the best
opportunities
to have a good body. But, the best Fix the agreement mistake
opportunity
way
to be healthy and still fit, it
is Correct pronoun usage
apply
a
Remove the article
apply
eating
, Wrong verb form
eat
people
should habe
Correct your spelling
have
a
Correct article usage
apply
health
food in their Replace the word
healthy
racions
, without Correct your spelling
regions
rations
health
food anybody cannot take Replace the word
healthy
a
fit that they want.Correct article usage
the
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite