IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Crime appears to be rising in most countries in the world, especially among young people. What are the possible causes of this trend, and what solutions would be effective in reducing crime?

#crime #countries #world #people #trend
That young adults are getting involved in crimes tends to become more common in most nations. There are a number of problems that people suffer
as a result
 of these crimes. There are some factors that contribute to youth
offenses
Change the spelling
offences
show examples
, leading them to dangerous situations, but
also
 some ways of solving problems we can take. Perhaps the major element that influences
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
young people’s criminal decision-making
can be
Verb problem
is a
show examples
 lack of moral education. Nowadays,
Although
 Teachers and parents
adicuately
Correct your spelling
adequately
 pay attention to academic skills, they do not spend any more time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teaching them morals.
As a consequence
 of insufficient moral development, they virtually can not manage their own emotions. Another major problem is linked to
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
difficulty of finding jobs.
This
 situation would cause young people involved in illegal activities
such
 as burglaries, and white-collar. Turning to possible solutions, probably the most effective solution is to improve moral development contents in the curriculum of
school
Add an article
the school
show examples
.
In other words
, moral education should be considered to be as crucial as nutrition, health, and academics for students.
Furthermore
, the government should control the unemployment of youngsters and support job opportunities for them to prevent an increasing rate of crimes.
Overall
, the problem caused is both a person's education and
sociel
Correct your spelling
social
 problem , and the solutions should involve coordinated action by
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
.
Submitted by alexstudyin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: