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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government is spending a lot of money to discover life on other planets some people think that gov is wasting money and should spend more on addressing the problems of public

In
Change preposition
Nowadays
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nowadays
Add an article
a nowadays
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 big number of
people
Use synonyms
 and different organisations like governments
Add the comma(s)
, for example,
show examples
for example
Linking Words
 NASA want to discover new life in other
plants
Correct your spelling
planets
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 like Mars and spent on
this
Linking Words
 research big amount of money.
However
Linking Words
 , many
people
Use synonyms
 do not like
this
Linking Words
 idea they think that it is indignantly. On the one hand ,
population
Add an article
the population
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 is growing significantly every year and now the
nomber
Correct your spelling
number
 of
people
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
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 already reached eight billion. So
government
Add an article
the government
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 is
concerning
Replace the word
concerned
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 about
this
Linking Words
 fast growth and
want
Correct subject-verb agreement
wants
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 to colonise
new
Add an article
a new
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 planet to give
people
Use synonyms
 opportunities to live peacefully.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is a good idea to set up many factories and plants if it happened , our planet would become less polluted.
In addition
Linking Words
 ,
in
Change preposition
on
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 other
planets
Use synonyms
 a lot of natural resources
for instance
Linking Words
 different types of iron , different expensive stones like diamonds etc. Well it will be great to mine all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
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 natural resources somewhere , but not
in
Change preposition
on
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the
Remove the article
apply
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our planet. By way of
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
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 we understand that all
what
Change the word
that
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 I mentioned
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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is very expensive and complicated to make
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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in real life.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , try to discover other
planets
Use synonyms
 while approximately 70
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of
people
Use synonyms
 are poor and 30
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 can not afford to eat a general meal.
Instead
Linking Words
 of helping
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
poor
people
Use synonyms
 , we can not even
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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defend wild animals from extinction and forests from deforestation. Rather than in our world a lot of places
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have not
discovered
Add a missing verb
been discovered
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 yet.
Fore
Correct your spelling
For
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 example oceans and rainforests. In conclusion , now it is necessary to spend
big
Add an article
a big
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 amount of money
for
Change preposition
on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
discovering
planets
Use synonyms
. It is better to spend all
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 trillions for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 peaceful life
fore
Correct your spelling
for
show examples
 everyone in
this
Linking Words
 world.
As a result
Linking Words
 , only after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 we can try to discover
another
Replace the adjective
another planet
other planets
show examples
planets
Use synonyms

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Answer the 'Problem and Solution' topic

Problem-and-solution essays fall naturally into two parts, the first describing and exploring the problem, the second setting out the solution or solutions.

You essay structure should look something like this:

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – Problems
  • Body paragraph 2 – Solutions
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • One of the first problems of the...
  • Another problem that needs to be considered...
  • A possible solution to this problem would be...
  • One immediate practical solution is to...

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