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Band 5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes ( for example working for charity, improving the neighbourhood or teaching sports to young children).

#people #community #service #part #school #programmes #charity #neighbourhood #sports #children
Some
people
 think that all university
students
 should
study
 whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to
study
subjects
 that will be useful in the
future
,
such
 as those related to science and technology.A Few individuals think that all
students
university
Change preposition
at university
show examples
 could
study
 everything they want, while some
people
 believe that they only
be
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 allowed to
study
future
subjects
 science and technology. I personally with the topic , which
students
study
 whatever they like. We will look
both
Change preposition
at both
show examples
 sides in the course of the essay.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
 the one hand,
students
 should have the change
subjects
 and
study
 the aspect they want to learn. If graduates will not take
knowledge
Add an article
the knowledge
show examples
 they
keen
Add a missing verb
are keen
show examples
 on
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
than
Replace the word
then
show examples
he
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 can not
created
Change the verb form
create
show examples
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
. In my opinion, how
system
Add an article
the system
show examples
 will give not useful information
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
students
,
in
addition
Add the comma(s)
,addition
show examples
person
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 brain not get take the knowledge, due to that
if
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
not
Change the verb form
does not
did not
show examples
 want to
study
 that.
On the contrary
, if
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 what he
want
Change the verb form
wants
show examples
 to, I think he
study
Change the verb form
studies
show examples
 everything with the interest
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and focused
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
 that more than
others
Correct pronoun usage
other
show examples
subjects
.
On the other hand
, in
fact
Add the comma(s)
,fact
show examples
future
 is dependent on science and technologies direction. Nowadays all of the attention
aimed
Add a missing verb
is aimed
show examples
to
Change preposition
at
show examples
 technical systems. Because:
For instance
, at the plenty of scholarships connected with
future
 scientific goals. They should be encouraged to follow their interests. In my personal experience, if
people
 find passion
about
Change preposition
for
show examples
 one subject and grow up their knowledge in tertiary education, they will more likely to have good career prospects when they finish their education.
Moreover
, they will have more employment possibilities in the
future
. To conclude, in my view,
students
 should not be limited to entering a major which it is not really match their interests or ability.
People
 can become successful effortlessly in their favourite field.
In addition
, an improved country is powerful in every field.
Submitted by Allazhar on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • compulsory
  • high school programmes
  • unpaid community service
  • charity
  • improving the neighbourhood
  • teaching sports
  • sense of responsibility
  • empathy
  • broader perspective
  • societal issues
  • college applications
  • job applications
  • positive impact
What to do next:
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