IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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It is argued that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 in recent days we have
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of
options
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. I fully agree with the statement. It is true that we have so many alternatives in our regular life.
Thus
Linking Words
, I believe these
options
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 are making our lives a bit complex. These days, we have so many
options
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 in our
every day
Replace the word
everyday
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 meals. Not only that, if we want to buy any sort of
things
Fix the agreement mistake
thing
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, we get confused due to
major
Correct article usage
the major
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area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 of alternatives. Recently, we have
to
Add a missing verb
had to
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 face different
types
Use synonyms
 of alternatives even
in
Change preposition
at
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 our dining table. Whenever we sit for
having
Unnecessary verb
apply
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meals, we get
atleast
Correct your spelling
at least
 2/3
types
Use synonyms
 of extra
options
Use synonyms
 in cooking items. Not necessarily it is possible to cook
every one's
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everyone's
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 favourite dishes at a time.
As a result
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, we get to taste
to
Correct your spelling
too
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 many
options
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.
For instance
Linking Words
, whenever we go to a restaurant, we order different
types
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 of
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
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 due to
variety
Correct article usage
the variety
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 of
options
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.
Thus
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, we have to leave the restaurant with leftovers.
In addition
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,
whenevr
Correct your spelling
whenever
 we go for shopping or try to buy anything, we get confused as there are tons of variety of
options
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. If we simply want to buy a dress, we end up buying
with
Correct pronoun usage
it with
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 other
staffs
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staff
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 as well. If we want to buy a pair of leather
shoe
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shoes
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, we
also
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 buy a leather bag along with the shoe.
For example
Linking Words
, we decide to buy a Samsung cell
phone
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. Whenever we go to the mall, we find another branded cell
phone
Use synonyms
 within the same price range. Due to the availability, we end up buying simply different branded cell
Use synonyms
phone
Fix the agreement mistake
phones
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 or
buy
Wrong verb form
buying
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 another extra one
instead
Linking Words
 of one
phone
Use synonyms
. In closing, as different
types
Use synonyms
 of
options
Use synonyms
making
Wrong verb form
make
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 our lives easier, it is creating complexity in other ways
also
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. Alternative
options
Use synonyms
 are good for daily life.
However
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, too many
options
Use synonyms
 are unnecessary for
Add an article
the individual
an individual
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individual
Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
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.
Submitted by mfh.faisalhasan on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
What to do next:
Look at other essays: