IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #choices
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According to some individuals, modern
people
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 are faced with an overload of
options
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.
Although
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 there could be
such
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 a situation that
people
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 have fewer
options
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 due to their
parents
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, I completely agree with
this
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 argument since
people
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 have the chance to go through a massive of choices in their daily lives because of the business schemes by companies. To commence with, it is clear that many retailers sell a variety sort of particular items.
This
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 is because providing consumers with a wider range of
options
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 is one of the marketing strategies. If companies should put an effort into selling various types of products, they can expect customers to draw attention.
For instance
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, many supermarkets sell different types of daily items to beat their competitors.
Thus
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, a variety of
options
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 can attract consumers, which may bring benefits to sellers.
On the other hand
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, according to other
people
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, choices that are made in once-in-a-lifetime are occasionally narrowed by
parents
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.
This
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 is because a large number of
parents
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 hope that their
children
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 can obtain some occupations that will bring them a high-paying income.
As a result
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, many
parents
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 tend to impose on their offspring to engage in a certain job or pursue
such
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 courses that will secure a future job. To give an illustration, in many Asian countries
such
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 as Japan, Korea, and China,
parents
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 often force their
children
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 to become a doctor or a lawyer regardless of their will.
However
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, I disagree with
this
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 point of view because
children
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 can still take the option to talk to their
parents
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 to seek what they want to do. To conclude, even though there may be some cases in which
parents
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 offer a small range of
options
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 as they want their
children
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 to obtain a large-income job, I completely agree with the idea that modern
people
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 are provided with an overwhelming number of
options
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 because of the marketing strategies by companies.
Submitted by u6u2sg29 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • overwhelmed
  • decision fatigue
  • paralysis by analysis
  • consumerism
  • globalization
  • personal autonomy
  • market saturation
  • option overload
  • decision-making process
  • psychological well-being
  • buyer's remorse
  • customization
  • trade-offs
  • minimalism
  • information superhighway
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