IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think that zoos are not good enough for animals and they should be improved or animals must go to natural life. What is your opinion?

#people #zoos #animals #life
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Many people believe that
zoos
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 are not good for
animals
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 so they need to find a better way to do it or return
animals
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 to the wild. Most people think of
zoos
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 as places of entertainment and just to see
animals
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 but they do not think about why they keep
animals
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 in capacity or whether they are in good or bad condition. But in my opinion,
animals
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 are not given enough attention in
zoos
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 they just charge money to enter
zoos
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 they do not use them for
animals
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Add the comma(s)
, for example,
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for example
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 we often go to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
zoos
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 with our family and I like one elephant there very much I always brought him a lot of fruits.When we went a few days ago I was very sad because there was not here which I love. The owners of the zoo said that they could not find enough food for the elephant and did not take good care of it. It fell ill so it was sent to Tashkent zoo after
this
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 incident I was condensed that the
animals
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 were not well taken care of .
On the other
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
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 everyone approves of freedom and in my opinion,
animals
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also
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 need freedom,
for example
Linking Words
, if we compare free
animals
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 with
animals
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 in
zoos
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 free
animals
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 are much stronger and eat their own food. In conclusion,
zoos
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 should be abolished and
animals
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 should be given freedom because
animals
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 in
zoos
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 can lose their abilities and even get sick or die from starvation
Submitted by jefnesbit on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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