In some countries, an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fastfood. It is, therefore, necessary for government to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. Do you agree?

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In some countries, That citizen is suffering from
the
Correct article usage
apply
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ailment due to
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
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many
Change preposition
of many
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fast foods
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increasing day by day, which is
concerned
Replace the word
concerns
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. But I firmly disagree with which governments require to boost a
tax
Use synonyms
on
this
Linking Words
kind of
food
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.
First
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of all,
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
government enhance a
tax
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, purchasing fast
food
Use synonyms
will become a burden for the
middle-class
Correct your spelling
middle class
show examples
.
For instance
Linking Words
, normally, A hamburger has just been on average from $1 to $3, but the higher
tax
Use synonyms
of about 20%, meaning that consumers are going to have to be an additional payment of $0,20 to $0,60 for every hamburger. From the consumer’s perspective, It is arduous to invest in a hamburger, especially for people who are in a lower condition like students, office workers, postgraduates,
unemployed
Correct word choice
and unemployed
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people. The popular
food
Use synonyms
possibly will become overpriced
food
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which in the
difficulty
Replace the word
difficult
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of middle-class. To tackle
this
Linking Words
, in my view, the government should provide netizens
not
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with not
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only information about the drawbacks of fast
food
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but
also
Linking Words
its solution.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the government need to have a charter about limiting
food
Use synonyms
additives
such
Linking Words
as sodium, trans fat, and so on which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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the root
of
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apply
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the
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apply
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cause of health issues like diabetes, obesity,
cancer
Correct word choice
and cancer
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.
This
Linking Words
can go down the bad impact of fast
food
Use synonyms
on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
health. In conclusion, the enhancement of higher
Use synonyms
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
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does not seem to be a great solution. It is not only become economic pressure on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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low condition
Add a hyphen
low-condition
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people but
also
Linking Words
can not deal with the health problems and the amount of
consumer
Fix the agreement mistake
consumers
show examples
.
Submitted by thanh.jenny on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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