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In many countries, people go shopping only for their needs. However, recently it has become a development into a form of entertainment. Why do you think it happens? Is it a positive or negative development?

#countries #people #development #form #entertainment
In
this
 day and age, more and more individuals do the shopping for entertainment not to purchase necessary products.
This
 essay will elaborate on the reasons why
this
 is the case, as well as the reasons why I believe that
this
 is an undesirable development.
To begin
 with there are several factors associated with
people
 going shopping due to entertainment.
Firstly
, the effect of
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 encourages customers to purchase unnecessary goods. Take Apple, a
well-knowned
Correct your spelling
well-known
 tech company,
for example
; they launch their new products annually, resulting in some
people
 buying a new
moblie
Correct your spelling
mobile
 phone every year to be satisfied with the latest technology despite the fact that their current devices still function perfectly. Another factor is that the advent of social media encourages individuals to live an
extravagent
Correct your spelling
extravagant
 lifestyle just to keep up with their friends or celebrities.
Consequently
,
people
 enjoy going shopping
unnecessary
Change preposition
for unnecessary
show examples
 products to catch up with the latest trend. Personally, I am convinced that
this
 is a detrimental movement and the main reason is that when
people
 buy more, there is a surge in the amount of waste, leading to environmental issues.
For instance
, increasing
junks
Fix the agreement mistake
junk
show examples
 requires
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 amount of fuel energy in the
eliminating
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elimination
show examples
 process. In
this
 respect, more carbon footprint
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
, and
this
 directly
worsen
Change the verb form
worsens
show examples
 global warming.
Moreover
, when
people
 live beyond their means, they become in debt by using credit cards, and many cannot manage to pay bills on time contributes to financial
problem
Fix the agreement mistake
problems
show examples
.
For example
, several research findings have revealed that individuals who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 been using credit cards
over
Change preposition
for over
show examples
than
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
a decade had problems
regarding
Change preposition
apply
show examples
managing to pay their bills at least once. In conclusion, while
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 and social media are the main reasons
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
customers
purchasing
Wrong verb form
purchase
show examples
 things as a form of entertainment, I am of the opinion that
this
 is a negative trend, especially in terms of worsening individuals’ financial status, as well as global warming
issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
show examples
.
Submitted by nanthapat.a on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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