IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Successful sports professionals can earn a great deal of money than people in other professions. Some people think this is fully justified while other think it is unfair. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#sports #professionals #money #people #professions
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, as national
sports
Use synonyms
 competitions are more and more popular, the wages of professional
athletes
Use synonyms
 become higher. Some claim that they do not deserve to earn as much money as other professions, while others think that
this
Linking Words
 is fair enough. In the following essays, I will show both sides of
this
Linking Words
 situation and conclude by explaining my own view. It is often argued that
sports
Use synonyms
 professionals get too much paid beyond their actual distribution. To start with,
athletes
Use synonyms
 do not have as much contribution to society as other occupations,
such
Linking Words
 as doctors, teachers, and
also
Linking Words
 lawyers. The reason is that they only need to play hard in competitions and take responsibility for themselves and their
sports
Use synonyms
 teams.
In addition
Linking Words
, they don’t actually help citizens or provide useful products or services to improve people’s lives. Whether they win a big game or not, their countries and inhabitants will not benefit from
this
Linking Words
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some deem that
athletes
Use synonyms
 actually deserve to earn more money than other kinds of important jobs and I would certainly go along with
this
Linking Words
 idea.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
sports
Use synonyms
 players need lots of training and effort to become professionals.
Thus
Linking Words
, they invest plenty of time and money to achieve their goal.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the wages they get represent their hard work and
also
Linking Words
 their reputations, earned from their fans.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
 stars help their country to get known by other worldwide nations and to increase its soft power.
For example
Linking Words
, Taiwan is not a well-known country.
However
Linking Words
, a famous badminton player, called Tai Tzu-Ying, who has won a lot of international badminton contests, helps Taiwan to get a chance to show its face to the world. In conclusion, it is undeniable that there are other professionals who contribute to society and residents a lot, but
athletes
Use synonyms
also
Linking Words
 play a big role and people cannot neglect their effort and dedication.
Submitted by tracy19978688 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • financial remuneration
  • exceptional
  • merit
  • talent
  • demand
  • entertainment value
  • career span
  • physical demands
  • justified
  • unfair
  • criticism
  • income inequality
  • societal priorities
  • sportsmanship
What to do next:
Look at other essays: