many people work long hours , leaving very little time for leisure activities . does this situation have more advantages or more disadvantages ?

Numerous humans around the world
work
a long
time
of their lives , so they allocate less
time
to entertain themselves . in
this
essay , some pros and cons of
this
matter will be explained and a logical conclusion will be proposed .
Firstly
, hardworking individuals usually can earn a lot of money they buy everything that they need ,
such
as luxury houses, modern cars which are from famous companies in the world and expensive goods which have high quality . Surly their income is too enough for travelling abroad and reserving brilliant hotels . Generally , a human who works most of the
time
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
is able to buy expensive purchases that it leads to modern , comfortable and dreamy life . In fact , their
work
is the most important thing for them and plays an essential role . they are able to have everything which people wish to have . On the other side , if humans dedicate all their
time
to
work
, they lose their valuable friendship ,
thus
they become
bored
Replace the word
boring
show examples
day to day and they feel lonely , sad and unhappy . Definitely , people who have little leisure
time
, get exhausted from their
work
and the performance of their mind decreases because the mind and brain need rest .
In addition
, an individual’s health is endangered mentally and physically . Definitely , humans who spend more
time
relaxing,
such
as travelling , swimming , cooking , and exercising regularly , are able to concentrate on their
work
more effectively and which causes more success and they can get a better conclusion from their efforts . To sum up ,
although
allocating most of the
time
to
work
makes people rich , spending rest
time
plays an essential role in life ,
thus
I believe that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages .
Submitted by tala.allamenajafy on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • work-life balance
  • mental well-being
  • burnout
  • stress relief
  • productivity
  • economic growth
  • career progression
  • skill enhancement
  • quality time
  • financial security
  • leisure activities
  • physical health
  • personal relationships
  • stress-related illnesses
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