Some people believe that it is important to spend money on family celebrations such as weddings and birthdays, while others think this is a waste of money. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Commemorating significant

events

Use synonyms

is a highly trended global phenomenon. Whilst many people believe that spending a fortune on family

events

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is advantageous, others state it is a burn of money.

This

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essay discusses both views and I personally believe celebrations should be done in a meaningful way. On one hand, it is certainly true that family celebrations are crucial to making memories and building up the bond.

First,

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important occasions

such

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as weddings are valued culturally. So, it is highly appreciated by society to host these functions and announce the relations that a couple is bearing social responsibilities

for instance

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as husband and wife.

Due to

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the fact that families hoist important

events

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gloriously.

Secondly

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, gathering relations for a critical occasion is paramount

important

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

extend

Wrong verb form

extending

show examples

the bond among the relatives. As we live in a small society it is significant to have positive inter-relationships among siblings and relatives.

For example

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, during a funeral, it is crucial to have public relations to share the emotional griff.

On the other hand

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, burning a fortune for an important event is meaningless. As educated and thoughtful human beings, men can celebrate critical

events

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meaningfully.

Such

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as if we have a family birthday we can give alms

giving

Verb problem

apply

show examples

to an orphanage. So that children are learning the qualities

such

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as sharing and caring

as well as

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uplifting the lives of the underprivileged.

To conclude

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, as I discussed there are benefits and disbenefits of spending a fortune on family glamours. I believe parents should encourage children to celebrate important days meaningfully.

wpriyantha60Sun Dec 18 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that the introduction clearly introduces the topic and the conclusion provides a summary of the main points.

task achievement

Fully address the task by discussing both views and giving a clear opinion in the introduction.

10
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

255 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

cultural heritage
commemorate
festivities
bonding experience
financial strain
budget-friendly
sustainable celebrations
social dynamics
peer pressure
materialism

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