Some people think that children should aim to their best at what they are doing while others believe it is not necessary for them. Discuss both views and give your own opinion

In
this
competitive world, without
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
hard not able to achieve be successful in our life.Some people harbour a belief that
children
should try hard to deliver the best result in every stream, while others are opposed to
this
notion. In
this
essay, I will elaborate on the positive and negative aspects of these threads and
thus
lead to a logical conclusion. There
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
myriad reasons to agree with the meritorious sides. The
first
and Foremost reason is that every child has a unique talent in some fields.
However
, they should try so hard to achieve the target by putting in continuous hard work and managing their time very effectively on a daily base in order to succeed in life. To probe more deeply, some
children
are good expertise in the ports field, but without proper training skills, practice and a healthy diet are not able to provide their best in the stream according to their abilities.Needless to say, all these points stand in good stead.
On the other hand
, By considering
children
's future carrier, parents encourage the
children
to deliver the best results.
As a result
, it's putting enormous pressure on the
children
leading to mental stress problems.
For instance
, in terms of academic records, parents enforce strict laws and not allowing
children
to participate in outdoor activities, forcing them to concentrate on their studies to get good academic scores which
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
to
children
's depression. According to a recent survey, more than 70 % of
children
are suffering from mental health problems.
Hence
, it's apparent why many are against these threads. In conclusion, the argument above aforementioned is instrumental indeed.
Consequently
, I firmly agree with the former statement but parents should allow
children
to spend outdoor activities in their leisure time which relieves stress and which energetic them to give the best ability.
Submitted by dhivyaravi0396 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • striving for excellence
  • discipline
  • perseverance
  • competitive
  • reduces pressure
  • balanced development
  • fosters creativity
  • realistic goals
  • adverse mental health outcomes
  • achievable aspirations
  • balanced approach
  • participation
  • enjoyment
  • societal and cultural impact
  • understanding of success
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