IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

With an increasing population working from home, some feel that this will bring an end to the traditional office setting. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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In
this
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 technology-driven era, the way of working slowly shifts to be much more flexible,
such
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 as remote working. Society believes working remotely will eventually replace working on-site at the office. I disagree with
this
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 because there are still plenty of jobs that can only be performed on-site,
such
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 as construction workers. I believe
this
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 new way of working will only be one of many and will not majorly impact the work-from-office setting.
Firstly
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, working from home diminished the interaction, leading to bad teamwork.
For example
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, employees who are positioned as IT, digital marketers, and social media admin can work just by using a laptop without the need to meet colleagues face-to-face. Despite
this
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, miscommunications could potentially happen quite frequently as there are no live interactions between workers to bond outside working time,
such
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 as during lunch.
Secondly
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, there is still a large range of job field that requires working at the office.
For instance
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, customer-oriented roles are encouraged to be present at the job site to serve the customers.
Similarly
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, occupations that require physical ability or hard skills
such
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 as construction workers, chefs, waitresses, and doctors
also
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 need to be on-site to perform their jobs.
On the contrary
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, the upward trend of working from home will most likely still continue in the future as it offers a much more flexible time for the employees.
In addition
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, the company will
also
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 benefit from it because it will decrease the expense of office rent. To summarize, I disagree that the work-from-home style will put an end to going to the workplace as a great number of jobs still require on-site attendance. Remote working style will only add as one of many ways of working and there will most likely be more ways emerging in
this
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 fast-paced life.

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task achievement
Clarify your thesis statement in the introduction to explicitly outline your main points of disagreement.
task achievement
Try to develop each point further with additional examples or explanations which will help to support your arguments more robustly.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that relates back to your thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
Transition words could be used more effectively to guide the reader through your arguments and improve the flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear point of view that is maintained throughout the response.
task achievement
You provided relevant examples to support your arguments about the necessity of on-site work in certain fields.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • remote work
  • traditional office setting
  • feasible
  • work culture
  • collaboration
  • communication
  • flexibility
  • work-life balance
  • isolation
  • hybrid model
  • business preferences
  • evolving
  • employee morale
  • productivity
  • technology
  • telecommuting
  • digital communication
  • office dynamics
  • employee engagement
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