Some people think that humans can use animals for their benefits. Others believe that this practice is wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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For many centuries,
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

have been used for many aspects
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as food and medicine.
Hence
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, stopping using
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for our benefit is impossible.
However
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I believe that we should not mistreat them for selfish purposes. On the one hand, it’s obviously understandable
to
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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why many people oppose taking advantage
from
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for personal reasons.
Although
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma after the subordinating conjunction Although. Consider removing the comma.

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animal
Add an article
the animal
an animal

The noun phrase animal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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is unreplaceable protein source, people seem to depend on
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this thing
Fix the agreement mistake
these things

It seems that this thing may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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too much and ignore
negative
Correct article usage
the negative

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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affect
to
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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environment
Add an article
the environment

The noun phrase environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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. At
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

point, greenhouse gas from livestock is an example. Following
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, research by Robert Goodland and Jeff Anhang, the authors of Livestock and Climate Change, indicates that raising
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

for food produces 51
percent
Change the spelling
per cent

The spelling of percent is a non-British variant. For consistency, consider replacing it with the British English spelling.

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of global greenhouse gas emissions each year. Meanwhile, commercialize lab-grown meat which is an alternative way to raw meat, is not focused on investigating
into
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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the study and development.
In other words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, I firmly believe that mistreating aminal for personal reasons is very cruel.
Subsequently
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, many
livestocks
Correct your spelling
livestock

If you don’t want livestocks to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

are killed
by
Change preposition
apply

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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using many evil ways
such
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as cutting
Correct pronoun usage
their head
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head
Fix the agreement mistake
heads

It seems that head may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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or putting them into boiled water which is against many ethical aspects.
Furthermore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, there are a number of bloody sports like cockfighting and dogfighting which are organized every day for enjoyment, while fighting they harm each other too
badly
Replace the word
bad

The word badly doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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that they died on spot.
Therefore
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, governments should pay attention more to organizations or people that organize these terrible sports and give them some strong punishment. In conclusion, we have to depend on
animals
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, which provide many benefits for
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans

It seems that human may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
Nevertheless
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, in many ethical ways, we should treat
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals

It seems that animal may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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less
cruel
Change the word
cruelly

Cruel seems to be the wrong part of speech for this context.

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and stop using them for selfish reasons.
Submitted by shynlee01 on

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