Many people use distance learning program to study at home but some people think that it can not bring the benefit as much attending college or universities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays technologies have been developing sharply and
also
most
people
utilize distance learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
to acquire an
education
at
home
.
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
some individuals consider that it can not bring as much
Change preposition
as attending
show examples
attending
Change the verb form
to attend
show examples
college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
it is a satisfactory way to
study
at
home
for everyone. I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs.
One
Correct your spelling
On
show examples
the one hand,more and more humans prefer going to college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
for studying in
a palatable situations
Correct the article-noun agreement
palatable situations
a palatable situation
show examples
.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
they assume that all students who attend
universities
or
college
Fix the agreement mistake
colleges
show examples
are given
top quality
Add a hyphen
top-quality
show examples
education
by skilful teachers.
For example
, there are a number of teachers at
universities
and they are
professional
Fix the agreement mistake
professionals
show examples
in their occupations. So
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
, common opinions in society
indecate
Correct your spelling
indicate
that all students should go to
universities
rather than
receiving
Wrong verb form
receive
show examples
an online programs
Correct the article-noun agreement
online programs
an online program
show examples
.
On the other hand
in my opinion some
people
may
study
another
Change preposition
in another
show examples
country. And they don't have enough money to attend
universities
or colleges. Nobody would dispute the fact that
people
enable
Correct your spelling
unable
show examples
to
study
at
home
via
Change preposition
by
show examples
applying
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
distance
Add an article
the distance
a distance
show examples
learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
. If they have a will , there will be a way to do everything.
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
some individuals may be
Correct article usage
a disability
show examples
disability
Replace the word
disabled
show examples
to go
these
Change preposition
to these
show examples
places to
study
. According to some
opinions
Add a comma
,opinions
show examples
many
people
make an afford to work as a manager or in
another jobs
Replace the adjective
another job
other jobs
show examples
after their graduation. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
many
people
prefer to go
universities
Change preposition
to universities
show examples
or colleges to acquire an
education
rather than using distance learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
for studying at
home
but in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
many
people
may attend another country to
study
. So that they don't have sufficient conditions to receive an
education
.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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