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Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people use distance learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or universities.To what extend do you agree and disagree?

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A number of
people
Use synonyms
 make use of distance learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 to study at home, but some
people
Use synonyms
 are of the opinion that it cannot bring the advantage as much
attending
Change preposition
as attending
show examples
 college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
.In the modern world, it is possible to study at home, thanks to advanced technologies.
Accordingly
Linking Words
, many
people
Use synonyms
 are willing to study online because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 convenience and availability.
However
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, others feel that face-to-face conversation is essential for some
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
,
such
Linking Words
 as acting, drawing and architecture.I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, they should not pay a huge amount of money for their universities and colleges.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, online learning is comfortable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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housewives, as they will get
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if the authorities provide them with
such
Linking Words
 kinds of opportunities.
For instance
Linking Words
, most housewives have duties at home, and
this
Linking Words
 is the main reason why they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not a diploma or certificate.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is clear that some citizens are keen on to think that online education cannot replace the old method of teaching, as these changes can negatively influence
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their interpersonal skills,
such
Linking Words
 as communication and cooperation with their peers.In
this
Linking Words
 regard, face-to-face communication and leadership
is
Change the verb form
are
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 crucial for the students,if they are willing to become well-qualified employees in the future.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 kinds of
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
 methods can isolate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, they can become
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
introvert type of person
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they do not communicate with other
people
Use synonyms
, and
this
Linking Words
 can create many problems for themselves,
such
Linking Words
 as
lack
Correct article usage
a lack
show examples
 of confidence.
Consequently
Linking Words
,
this
Linking Words
 can damage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their career opportunities. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 many
people
Use synonyms
 reckon to think that online teaching is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens, others feel that it cannot be fruitful for using some kinds of profession.In
this
Linking Words
 regard, I believe that students should be taught at universities and other academic institutions, as nowadays, distance learning cannot replace the old methods.

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