IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Many people use distance learning program to study at home, but some people think that it cannot bring the benefit as much attending college or universities.To what extend do you agree and disagree?

#people #distance #program #study #home #benefit #college #universities
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A number of
people
 make use of distance learning
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
 to study at home, but some
people
 are of the opinion that it cannot bring the advantage as much
attending
Change preposition
as attending
show examples
 college or
universities
Fix the agreement mistake
university
show examples
.In the modern world, it is possible to study at home, thanks to advanced technologies.
Accordingly
, many
people
 are willing to study online because
its
Change preposition
of its
show examples
 convenience and availability.
However
, others feel that face-to-face conversation is essential for some
profession
Fix the agreement mistake
professions
show examples
,
such
 as acting, drawing and architecture.I will put my thoughts into words in the forthcoming paragraphs. On the one hand, they should not pay a huge amount of money for their universities and colleges.
Furthermore
, online learning is comfortable for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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housewives, as they will get
a knowledge
Remove the article
knowledge
a piece of knowledge
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,
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apply
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 if the authorities provide them with
such
 kinds of opportunities.
For instance
, most housewives have duties at home, and
this
 is the main reason why they
have
Add a missing verb
do have
show examples
 not a diploma or certificate.
On the other hand
, it is clear that some citizens are keen on to think that online education cannot replace the old method of teaching, as these changes can negatively influence
on
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apply
show examples
their interpersonal skills,
such
 as communication and cooperation with their peers.In
this
 regard, face-to-face communication and leadership
is
Change the verb form
are
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 crucial for the students,if they are willing to become well-qualified employees in the future.
Moreover
,
such
 kinds of
teching
Correct your spelling
teaching
 methods can isolate
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individuals from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society.
That is
 to say, they can become
an
Correct article usage
apply
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introvert type of person
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 if they do not communicate with other
people
, and
this
 can create many problems for themselves,
such
 as
lack
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a lack
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 of confidence.
Consequently
,
this
 can damage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their career opportunities. In conclusion,
although
 many
people
 reckon to think that online teaching is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
citizens, others feel that it cannot be fruitful for using some kinds of profession.In
this
 regard, I believe that students should be taught at universities and other academic institutions, as nowadays, distance learning cannot replace the old methods.
Submitted by ilkhomjon.uralov97 on

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