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Band 6

Many children these days have their own mobile phones. What are the advantages and disadvantages?

#children #phones
Mobile phones became versatile
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
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 these days. As it has more features, with the help of access to various apps for different purposes. In ,particular
children
 having a mobile phone can be useful for enhancing cognitive and intellectual skills. ,
However
Add a comma
,However
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 it will adversely affect the
children
 the other way around if they are using it for gaming or watching it often for recreational purposes.
To begin
 with, modern-day advancements offer interactive learning with the help of the internet. These include video and audio recordings with captions.
In addition
 , it
also
 encompasses Questions and answers in the middle of the video to stay active and focused.
Moreover
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,Moreover
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 most online learning involves pictures and illustrations of a subject or a topic. which escalates the engagement of viewers
in contrast
 with conventional classes where most of them taught are in text and spoken words.
Nevertheless
, it is true fact that most
children
 overuse mobile phones for playing games and binge-watching. Which will drastically affect their study and health. Often nowadays
children
 with addiction to games and videos often have physical illnesses
such
 as myopia, sleep deprivation, and obesity. on the other ,hand it affects their mental health too. Which will be the biggest threat to them in near future.
Furthermore
 engaging in mobile phones frequently increases social isolation. which will be another disadvantage. To conclude, using mobile wisely and concisely for educational purposes will help in nurturing the growth of
children
.
However
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,However
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 if it is not controlled over playing games and recreational videos it will have a negative impact on them.
Submitted by nmariafleming17 on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • emergencies
  • enhance learning
  • educational apps
  • monitoring
  • digital skills
  • distraction
  • face-to-face interactions
  • social development
  • physical health problems
  • inappropriate content
  • prolonged use
  • eye strain
  • sleep disturbances
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