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Writing Samples
Band 7

Online learning will eventually replace traditional classroom-based education. Do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, online learning is one of the new ways of education that we can adopt to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 our learning needs.
Besides
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 that, there is the traditional learning method with
classrooms
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, which
provide
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provides
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 face-to-face meetings, and some people feel more comfortable with it. Ultimately, I partially agree that online learning will take the place of traditional
classrooms
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, but I
also
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 recognize that traditional
classrooms
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 are still needed by some students. In the digital era, all our activities are related to a digital lifestyle,
such
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 as meetings, working, discussing, and even consulting with doctors, among many others. It is mandatory for us to understand digital technology and how its devices work. These are the reasons why we need to evolve our way of learning from traditional to online. In
this
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 mode of learning, we can
also
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 make classes more efficient and effective, reaching more students from various areas. Meanwhile, some people still need traditional methods because they are comfortable with them.
However
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,
this
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 learning method requires more resources than the online approach.
For instance
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,
classrooms
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 need to be prepared before the class starts, and teachers
also
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 need to attend classes face-to-face. It takes more effort to accomplish
this
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, and traditional
classrooms
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also
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 have a limited number of students. In conclusion,
while
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 I agree that online learning offers many benefits, traditional learning is still needed by some people to
fulfill
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fulfil
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 their educational needs comfortably. These personal needs must
also
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 be addressed to ensure that all citizens can achieve their basic desires for education.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples or data to strengthen your arguments. This can help make your essay more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence, which can help improve the logical structure even further.
task achievement
Try to balance the arguments for and against online learning more evenly. This could provide a more comprehensive view of the issue.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction clearly presents the writer's position and outlines the main points to be discussed, which aids in setting up the essay effectively.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and restates the writer's stance, bringing the essay to a satisfying close.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
The use of paragraphs helps in organizing thoughts and maintaining clarity throughout the essay.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • lifelong education
  • continual learning
  • adapt
  • changing technologies
  • societal norms
  • cognitive function
  • cognitive decline
  • personal development
  • self-improvement
  • formal education
  • navigate
  • emphasis
  • pressure
  • contentment
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