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Band 7.5

1. In recent years, pressure on school and university students has been increasing and they are pushed to work very hard from a young age. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#years #pressure #school #university #students #work #age #development
In the modern world, school and university
students
 suffer from a growing amount of
pressure
.
As a result
, they start working at an early age.
Although
students
 can earn more money if they commence working as early as possible, in my opinion, it should be viewed as a negative situation since
students
 cannot acquire patience. On the one hand,
pressure
 at academic facilities can make
students
 cope with difficulties.
Students
 need to go through exams and activities under constant
pressure
.
As a result
,
this
 hard experience enables
students
 to acquire patient ability.
For instance
, many prime ministers finished university, and they come to
work
 under
pressure
. I agree with
this
 opinion since patience is a lifetime skill
that is
 crucial once
students
 start their careers.
On the other hand
, according to some individuals,
students
 can earn more money if they
work
 without finishing school. In general, people can receive more financial resources if they
work
 for a long period.
For example
, in Japan, a person can receive a salary according to the duration of the engagement,
thus
 a person who has worked for a long duration can receive a higher salary than those who do not.
However
, I disagree with
this
 idea since
students
 can obtain more fortune if they make a leap to self-employment and start a new business. To conclude, even though
students
 can obtain more money because they can
work
 longer than others who finish university, in my perspective, it can be argued that
this
 situation is a negative development as
students
 are unable to become patient via studying under
pressure
.
Submitted by u6u2sg29 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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