Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different culture and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

There is no doubt about the fact that opera is a crucial part of an individual's life .
However
, there are some who opine that rock is the best way to bring masses of different customs and ages together. In a subsequent , paragraph I intended to shed light on the given topic with proper illustrations and an appropriate conclusion. Analysing the statement and explaining
further
, the first and foremost reason is that flok can meet one another in concerts . By ,
this
I mean that if a famous singer arranges a live show in a particular era
then
people of different cultures and age groups will come to it see , so it gives chance to the public to talk and make friends .
For example
, if the popular Indian singer Arijit Singh performs in concert
then
many people from the Muslim and Hindu religions will visit it.
Secondly
, communication with each other would make good bonds between them .
In addition
to
this
, folk can share their opinions on lyrics
as well as
talk about their favourite songs .
Furthermore
,
this
gives an opportunity for the public
for being
Change preposition
to be
show examples
united.
On the other hand
, some prefer to listen to songs , not by their meaning , so
this
proves that they like melody .
Moreover
, there are many singing albums in various languages , which flok do not prefer because they want to listen to the melody of their own language.
For instance
, if a foreign single
sing
Correct subject-verb agreement
sings
show examples
a song
then
those who do not understand English will avoid listening. In conclusion , I indeed think that singing can bring the public of many customs and ages together because a number of nations love to listen to it.
Submitted by pyash5245 on

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coherence cohesion
Incoherent structure of arguments and examples. Weak transitions and unclear progression of ideas. Improperly introduced and concluded.
task response
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural diversity
  • harmony
  • integration
  • bridging gaps
  • foster
  • ignite
  • embrace
  • communicate
  • celebrate
  • appreciate
  • inclusivity
  • universal language
  • emotional resonance
  • shared experiences
  • intercultural dialogue
  • intergenerational connections
  • cultural exchange
  • catalyst
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