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Writing Samples
Band 6

Childhood obesity is becoming a serious problem in many countries. Identify the main causes of this problem, and suggest some possible solutions.

#childhood #obesity #countries
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Nowadays, people are concerned about the obesity issue that not only happens to adults but
also
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 children.
This
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 problem may occur for some reasons and can be tackled with the solutions below. The development of technology gives a huge impact on youth lives, particularly for amusement.
For instance
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, online games always become the
first
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 choices for teenagers to spend their spare time rather than playing outdoors with their friends. Playing online games will restrict their movement for hours, if
this
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 activity continues for a long time, it will make kids gain weight easily. The most effective way to address
this
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 problem is by controlling the children’s activities.
Parents
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 should give their kids screen limitations to access online games and other activities through the internet.
In addition
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, introducing them to new hobbies
such
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 as football, tennis, swimming, or other sports will help youth become healthier.
On the other hand
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, junk foods known as the unhealthiest cuisine lead to an overweight problem. Busy
parents
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 sometimes do not have enough time to prepare
food
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 for their adolescence,
as a result
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, junk
food
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 always becomes a good solution. Many people are unaware of how dangerous
this
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 kind of meal is for children. Referring to
this
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 issue, the nutritionist should educate the
parents
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 about healthy
food
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 and lifestyle.
Moreover
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, working mothers should consider using a healthy catering service for serving the best quality meals for their
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. To sum up,
parents
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 and children should work together to start a healthy lifestyle. Consuming nourishing
food
Use synonyms
 will not be enough if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
young people do not move their
body
Fix the agreement mistake
bodies
show examples
 for exercise.
Submitted by muholligan on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Dietary habits
  • Sedentary lifestyle
  • Processed foods
  • Socioeconomic status
  • Nutritional education
  • Obesity epidemic
  • Preventative measures
  • Health policies
  • Urban planning
  • Caloric intake
  • Metabolic health
  • Screen time
  • Physical activity
  • Junk food
  • Food desert
  • Body mass index (BMI)
  • Portion control
  • Mindful eating
  • Lifestyle diseases
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