IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

You are moving to a new country to go to university and will need a part - time job . You have a friend who lives in that country . Write a letter to your friend . In your letter , apologise for not staying in touch explain why you're moving to this country ask your friend if he / she can help you find a job .

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Dear Ruchin, I trust you are doing well. It has been a long time since we met
last
Linking Words
 time. I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to
know
Verb problem
get
show examples
 more information about how to find a part-time job in Canada, as I am moving there next month for my
further
Linking Words
 studies.
As well as
Linking Words
, please accept my apology for not staying connected
due to
Linking Words
 my final exam of grade 12th. First of all, I discovered that the University of Waterloo has an excellent course regarding the Human Resource Management study, which would help me to enhance
skills
Correct pronoun usage
my skills
show examples
 and build my career.
Besides
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, I
also
Linking Words
 want to experience
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 snowy weather of Canada.
Lastly
Linking Words
, I know that you are working as a recruiter in the employment agency. I would be grateful if you could help me to provide some guidance for hunting employment. I hope you
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 get excited after reading
this
Linking Words
 letter. See you soon. warm regards, Dhruvi Patel

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logical structure
Improve the logical structure by ensuring smooth transitions between the reasons for moving and the request for job assistance.
single idea per paragraph
Consider breaking the second paragraph into smaller sections to focus individually on the reasons for moving and your interest in experiencing snowy weather.
complete response
The letter includes a clear apology for not staying in touch.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is suitable, friendly, and polite, making it easy to ask for assistance.
greeting and closing
The opening and closing of the letter are well-executed, providing a warm and personal touch.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Apologize for not staying in touch: 'I feel terrible about not being in contact more often...', 'I'm sorry for not keeping in touch as much as I'd like to...'.
  • Moving: 'I'm thrilled to be moving to...', 'I've been given an amazing opportunity to study at...', 'I am on the brink of starting a new chapter in...'.
  • Part-time job: 'I am hoping to find a part-time job...', 'It would be great if you could help me with finding...', 'I am eager to work and gain some experience...'.
  • Study and university: 'I will be joining...', 'I have enrolled in...', 'My course will be...'.
  • Requesting assistance: 'Do you think you could help me out with...', 'Would you mind giving me some guidance about...', 'Could you keep an eye out for...'.
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