IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that modern technology is making people more sociable, while others think it is making them less sociable. Discuss both views and give your opinion

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The discussion regarding the influence of modern
technologies
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to
Change preposition
on
show examples
Use synonyms
sociability
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the sociability
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 of
people
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 sparked a heated debate. Some
people
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 opine that it has negative aspects while there are others who are convinced in
positivity
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the positivity
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 of
this
Linking Words
 trend. I concur with the previous notion, but
this
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 essay will examine both sides.
First
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 of
all
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,all
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 it should be discussed the point of
negative
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the negative
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 influence of
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technologies
Fix the agreement mistake
technology
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 on
Use synonyms
sociability
Add an article
the sociability
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 of
people
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. Some
people
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 are convinced that modern devices, applications and other
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internet related
Add a hyphen
internet-related
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 tools heavily reduced alive bonds between
people
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.
For instance
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, some analytical
researches
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researchers
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 approve that abilities
of making
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to make
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 friends in
population
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the population
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has
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have
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been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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decreased mostly due to
internet
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technologies
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. Well, the fact is that
such
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 analytical researches are not common, and
bring
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does bring
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 not enough
evidences
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evidence
pieces of evidence
shreds of evidence
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 to
this
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 thesis.
In
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On
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 the other hand, there are plenty of studies which
brings
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bring
show examples
 truly convincing testimonies which
confirms
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confirm
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positivity
Correct article usage
the positivity
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 of
internet
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technologies
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 in
context
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the context
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 of
growth
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the growth
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 of
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sociability
Correct article usage
the sociability
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 of
people
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. To
Illustrate
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illustrate
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, distant methods of connection between
people
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, which
also
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 include
internet
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 devices and applications, facilitated the rise of frankness
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
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 brought trust and openness between conversational partners.
Moreover
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
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technologies
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 help
people
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 make new good and productive relations not only in their own country
,
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apply
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 but
also
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 abroad.
Therefore
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 current
technologies
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 and
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sociability
Correct article usage
the sociability
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 of
people
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 make
a
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apply
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great compatibility. To conclude, the great role of modernization and innovations in lifting social
relation
Fix the agreement mistake
relations
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 to a new super level, which can be characterized as more productive and comfortable for users, should be noted.

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Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • online marketplaces
  • mobile payment options
  • personalized advertising
  • accessibility
  • compare prices
  • decision fatigue
  • impulse buying
  • financial imprudence
  • privacy and data security
  • transformed
  • streamlined
  • user-friendly
What to do next:
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