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Writing Samples
Band 6

These days, in some countries, an increasing number of young adults are choosing to spend their whole weekend inside their own homes Why do you think this is happening? Is this a positive or negative development?

#countries #adults #weekend #homes #development
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In
this
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 modern era, it has been commonly noticed that
largely
Rephrase
apply
show examples
youngsters spend the entire weekend in their
house
Use synonyms
, in some countries
because
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
for various reasons and I believe that
this
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 is a beneficial development for them.
This
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 essay will put forward the reasons and points to support my viewpoint, followed by a logical conclusion. To commence with, these days the young generation wants to enjoy their
time
Use synonyms
 at home during weekends because they want to relax and calm their body. As they generally have a hectic schedule on weekdays and by working endlessly, they
got
Wrong verb form
get
show examples
 tired,
hence
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, they prefer to stay at home and can reduce their stress.
For instance
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, in a recent survey in India, 80% population mentioned that by spending
time
Use synonyms
 inside the
house
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, they feel more active and get the energy to prepare themselves for the next week’s hurdle.
Additionally
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, I believe that
this
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 drastic amendment in their lifestyle brings a positive and healthy development in many ways. The predominant one is that they get an enormous
time
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 to spend with their family members which helps them to reinforce their bond with each other ,usually on working days, they do not get much
time
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due to
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 their heavy workload.
For instance
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, in ,India it is a very common activity amongst people to watch reality shows or comedy shows with their family members and relish, which is
also
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 a great stress-buster practice.
Moreover
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, by relaxing in the
house
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 they are saving their
time
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 and money rather than spending it outside unnecessarily.
To conclude
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, nowadays young people prefer to enjoy their weekend in their
house
Use synonyms
 rather than going outside because they feel, by doing so they can rejuvenate and calm their body.
Therefore
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, I concur that
this
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 is a good change as they get more quality
time
Use synonyms
 to spend with their near and dear ones, and
also
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 they can save their money and
time
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by rawat.aayushi04061996 on

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Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and supports it with relevant details and examples.
Task Achievement
Provide more specific and relevant examples to support your points, and ensure that all ideas directly relate to the essay prompt.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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