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Band 5.5

Some people think that poverty is the reason behind most crimes. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #poverty #reason #crimes
A fair amount of people believe that bad economical status is due to criminal behaviour. In my opinion ,
crime
 and the
economy
 splice each other. In
this
 essay , I will explain why poverty and violation have a connection with the example of
India
 and
Denmark
.
First
 of all , most
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
such
 as robbery , hijacking, and fraud are done by a person who suffering for
live
Replace the word
life
show examples
 cost. Imagine about individually you have basic needs
such
 as a shelf , food and technological gadgets - because nowadays, technological items
likewise
 phones, and laptops are aliments. Do you think to robbed somebody ? The answer is most will be no. According to Karl Marx , the recession is the foundation of everything. Today , one of the highest
case
Change to a plural noun
cases
show examples
 records in
India
 while
Denmark
 shows the lowest
crime
 value. A major of the population in
India
 suffers from poverty ,
although
Denmark
 has lower inflation compared to most Europan countries.
Secondly
 , society`s morality encompasses the
economy
 as well.
That is
 mean , if folks do have not access to nutrition , accommodation or even leisure time items , society can not develop its ethical rules. Without ethical rules , society is forced to splinter and
this
 is the reason for going up to
Add an article
the
show examples
crime
.
For instance
 ,
India
 has
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 strict laws than
Denmark
 ,
,,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 residents who live in
Denmark
 have more respect for individuals' space and lifestyles. Because , as I mentioned above ,
most
Add an article
a most
show examples
crime
such
 as robbery , fraud etc. has a relation with the
economy
 ;
additionally
 harassment, and violation of privacy has been affected by the deficit too. Indigence can be a fact of a lower education degree and without ,education all crimes can be possible. In
this
 essay , I have explained and highlighted why
crime
 and the
economy
 are interconnecting and why criminality is rising up when people suffer from poverty.
Submitted by b.sfkozel on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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