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Band 6.5

Although family has a great influence on children’s life, it is the influence of outside the home that plays a bigger part in their development. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

#influence #children’s #life #home #part #development
It is argued that the impacts from family are more important than the influence of outside. In my view , I support that external impacts play undeniably an essential role in
teenagers
' development. Relatives and siblings who accompany children help build up
teenagers
' personality and their world view. They convey basic knowledge
such
 as how to use a washing machine or interact with others which strengthens the capacities of
teenagers
.
Besides
, when
teenagers
 failed, they offer help which takes the form of encouragement and some practical solutions. Without their help,
teenagers
 would be helpless and stuck in difficulties for a long while. On the opposite, children are exposed to
society
 from which gain more experience for more hours per day.
Firstly
, only without parents' intervention,
the
Add a missing verb
do the
show examples
 young resort to the capacity of dealing with conflicts by themselves and
also
 address tough challenges independently, which they can learn from
society
instead
 of their family. What is
similarly
 shown in the wild, the eagle would be thrown from the nests after its parents think they are mature. After that, they learn how to hunt and build their own nests protecting themselves from threats.
In addition
, exposure to
society
 means a lot of opportunities to interact with others. The young only learn strategies from their siblings but never know how to behave politely and appropriately in reality. After real experiences, they would be more close to being an individual. In a word, it's hard to ignore the impacts of family, whereas the external environment is more influential in the young's development. To achieve sustainable development, it's worthwhile to spend more time in
society
.
Submitted by jiangchenxi789 on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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