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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Some people think that it is best to live in a horizontal city while others think of a vertical city. Discuss both views and give your opinion

#people #city
There are various models of urban planning devised to cope with the growing human population. Expanding
cities
thus
 have a choice: to grow upwards or to grow outwards. These both have their merits and choosing which is best is a difficult task. It depends upon whether you value efficiency or comfort. When
cities
 grow upwards, using large apartment
buildings
 and skyscrapers to
house
 their vast populations, they tend to make more efficient use of space. One tall building could perhaps
house
 a few thousand
people
,
whereas
 a smaller building of the same ground dimensions would only
house
 a few dozen, at most.
This
 is undeniably more efficient than spreading a
city
 out over a vast area.
Moreover
, as technology improves, the height of
buildings
 can continue to grow, housing more and more
people
. Through
this
 sort of design,
cities
 can stay within their geographical confines
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but still allow for a growing population.
On the other hand
, some
cities
 grow outwards. The
people
 planning these urban areas tend to think of tall
buildings
 as unsightly and crude
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and prefer a more aesthetically pleasing design.
People
 have more space to themselves, and the
city
less
Add a missing verb
is less
show examples
 crowded.
However
,
this
 sort of
city
 grows
further
 outwards, consuming more of the surrounding countryside, which would
otherwise
 have been preserved with more tall
buildings
 to
house
 the
people
. In conclusion, there is no correct way to design a
city
, but both “vertical” and “horizontal” urban planning have their benefits. Whichever is the superior approach is simply a matter of perspective.
Submitted by alonsoddel78 on

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Task Achievement
To improve task achievement, ensure that you address all parts of the prompt comprehensively. In this essay, while you have discussed both views, adding a clear personal opinion would strengthen the response. Tie your opinion back to the points made in the discussion for a more compelling argument.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, transition effectively between ideas and paragraphs. While the essay is generally well-structured, using a wider range of linking words and phrases can create a smoother reading experience and better conceptual flow.
Task Achievement
Incorporate more specific examples to substantiate the main points. This will increase the depth of the analysis and give the reader concrete evidence of the viewpoints discussed. It could be via hypothetical scenarios or real-world cases to illustrate the advantages and disadvantages of both city models.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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