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Band 4.5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large numbers of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages ?

#time #population #countries #numbers #adults #people #situation
Nowadays, the
number
 of
people
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 some nations includes a potentially huge amount of youngest
instead
 of
elderly
Correct article usage
the elderly
show examples
. There are some advantages and disadvantages
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
this
issues
Fix the agreement mistake
issue
show examples
. I do believe that there are advantages of
this
 situation
outhweigh
Correct your spelling
outweigh
 the disadvantages,
instead
. Some
people
 might argue that the
number
 of population in
young
Add an article
a young
show examples
 generation has several
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
could
Correct pronoun usage
that could
show examples
be have
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 a huge
postive
Correct your spelling
positive
 impact
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some nations.
For example
,
youngster
Add an article
the youngster
show examples
 has more potential to make our economic growth because of their
productiveness
Replace the word
productivity
show examples
. They make lots of
invention
Fix the agreement mistake
inventions
show examples
 or
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
show examples
 in all daily
basic
Fix the agreement mistake
basics
show examples
 that could not make it from their senior. Based on the research, most of
that
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 average
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
GDP
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 getting from productive ages.
However
, around a
third
 of that
categories
Fix the agreement mistake
category
show examples
 has GDP
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
worldwide from old
people
 ages. It is
unbelieveable
Correct your spelling
unbelievable
 research, but based on that
number
 expertise realized that there might be uncovered skills that have
potential
Correct article usage
the potential
show examples
 on improving economic growth.
On the other hand
, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 any impact on it.
Young
Correct article usage
The young
show examples
 generation
seem
Change the verb form
seems
show examples
 to be less attitude because of their
timeless
Replace the word
timelessness
show examples
 that are not getting enough cultural matters from their ancestor. Eventually,
youngest
Correct article usage
the youngest
show examples
supposed
Add a missing verb
is supposed
show examples
 to be
least
Correct article usage
the least
show examples
 uneducated
expecially
Correct your spelling
especially
 for historical stories. As a clear illustration, normally children have gotten a long story
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
told
from
Change preposition
by
show examples
 their grandparents before
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are going to sleep. All in all, I prefer to say that
huge
Correct article usage
a huge
show examples
number
 of young
people
more
Add a missing verb
is more
show examples
 beneficial
that
Correct word choice
than
show examples
 old
people
 in every
categories
Change to a singular noun
category
show examples
 that could
affect
Correct pronoun usage
themaffect
show examples
. Even though, there
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
invitable
Correct your spelling
inevitable
inevitably
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
 that might happen on it.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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