IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

In many places today, rapid lifestyle changes are affecting family relationships. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

#places #lifestyle #changes #relationships #trend
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Nowadays, as technology has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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spread, it
is affect
Change the verb form
affects
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 on
people
Use synonyms
's
Use synonyms
lifestyle
Fix the agreement mistake
lifestyles
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. Some folks think that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 it would
be create
Change the verb form
create
show examples
 issues in relation
of
Change preposition
to
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family
Add an article
the family
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 .
In
Change preposition
Changing
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changing
Add a comma
,changing
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lifestyle
Use synonyms
 has pros and cons.
Therefore
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 will explain both
side
Change to a plural noun
sides
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 situation in the ensuing paragraphs.
To begin
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 with, we can see the brighter side of changing
lifestyle
Use synonyms
. These days, the ratio of
miagating
Correct your spelling
mitigating
migrating
people
Use synonyms
 from
coutry
Correct your spelling
country
 side to
urban
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the urban
show examples
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
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increased. Because, in the rural area,
people
Use synonyms
 do not have good pay
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
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, education and
helthcare
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healthcare
 facilities. So they
settel
Correct your spelling
settle
settled
 in
city
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the city
show examples
. Everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 responsibilities to
thier
Correct your spelling
their
 families.
Hence
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, they move to
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 future
of
Change preposition
for
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 families.
Moreover
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, thanks to the technology innovation
such
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 as mobile, laptop and internet access
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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bring together family members.
For example
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,
Add an article
the person
a person
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person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
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 who
live
Change the verb form
lives
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in
Change preposition
apply
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abroad but they daily communicate with their family by using mobile.
On the other hand
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, the rapid
lifestyle
Use synonyms
also
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 brings
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
distance
Add an article
the distance
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 between
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
. Today, everyone
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
hectic
Correct article usage
a hectic
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schedul
Correct your spelling
schedule
schedules
 for work.
Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore
, they do not have time to spend with
families
Correct pronoun usage
their families
show examples
.
Furthermore
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,
people
Use synonyms
runs
Change the verb form
run
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 fast for
better
Correct article usage
a better
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 future and
saving
Wrong verb form
save
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 money but they do not know personal time and
bond
Correct article usage
the bond
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 between parents
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also
Add a missing verb
is also
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 important.
For example
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, in
Correct article usage
a europen
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europen
Correct your spelling
European
country
Fix the agreement mistake
countries
show examples
 tradition is working only five days,
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 two
day
Change to a plural noun
days
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spend
Wrong verb form
spending
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 time with
loves
Wrong verb form
loved
show examples
once
Correct your spelling
ones
show examples
. But ,
people
Use synonyms
also
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 work as pay
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
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 the weekends.
In addition
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,
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this day
Fix the agreement mistake
these days
show examples
runing
Correct your spelling
running
 one trend which is going
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
abroad for higher education or
job
Correct article usage
a job
show examples
 and they live far from their parents. When
family
Add an article
a family
the family
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 has some
emarancy
Correct your spelling
emergency
, they cannot reach easily. In conclusion, every situation has two aspects one is positive and
other
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
 is
negetive
Correct your spelling
negative
.
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Similarly
Add a comma
,Similarly
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 the changing
lifestyle
Use synonyms
 is
also
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 affecting family relation and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology build bridge between
relation
Replace the word
relationships
show examples
 and work life.
Submitted by jeetkacha13 on

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