IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#animals #people
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It is hard to deny that protecting
animals
 is a
hugh
Correct your spelling
huge
high
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden, as it consumed a great deal of money to develop scientists and build zoos or habitats.
Such
 a fact leads impressionable
people
 to generate the opinion that
people
 should only protect
animals
 that are valuable to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
However
,
such
 a statement suffers logical and factual fallacies and should be examined meticulously. As far as feasibility, environment, and economy are concerned, I firmly hold that we should NOT only protect useful
animals
.
First
 and foremost, the
throught
Correct your spelling
thought
 of protecting useful
animals
 can not be executed in practice, as it is hard to determine what is useful. To be more specific,
people
 with different cultural or economical backgrounds may have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
show examples
 of useful;
thus
, it is hard to get a conclusion
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 which
animals
 can be useful to human beings. Not to mention that
,
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apply
show examples
 some
people
 argue
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
 have no moral right to decide which
species
 can survive.
Furthermore
, the fact that
species
 diversity is important for every
animals
Change to a singular noun
animal
show examples
 indicates that we ought to protect all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
. Take the case of the changes in China in the late 20th -
people
 at that time
regard
Wrong verb form
regarded
show examples
 some
species
 like
rat
Fix the agreement mistake
rats
show examples
 are harmful,
thus
 the government encourage
people
 to eliminate
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
species
, reducing the
species
 diversity, and leading to a huge impact on the environment. Had it not been for
this
camipagn
Correct your spelling
campaign
, we would have a better environment.
Nevertheless
, a voice arises that protecting all the endangered
animals
 will be a
fincial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden. Ironically, we can earn more from protecting
animals
, we can get money from tourists to zoos or habitats, and
people
 can advance medical and scientific research
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some
species
, helping many
people
 to cure their diseases, which
saving
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
show examples
 money. In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, I maintain that we should NOT only
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 useful
species
. Admittedly, as my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 quote from James Madison goes, as long as the reason of man continues
fallible
Change preposition
to fallible
show examples
, different opinions will be formed, and some
people
 may oppose me.
However
, I believe they will compromise after being exposed to my article.
Submitted by 1875524940 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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