IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many animals are endangered. Some people argue that we should only protect animals that are useful to human. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is hard to deny that protecting
animals
Use synonyms
 is a
hugh
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huge
high
finicial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden, as it consumed a great deal of money to develop scientists and build zoos or habitats.
Such
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 a fact leads impressionable
people
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 to generate the opinion that
people
Use synonyms
 should only protect
animals
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 that are valuable to
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
show examples
.
However
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,
such
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 a statement suffers logical and factual fallacies and should be examined meticulously. As far as feasibility, environment, and economy are concerned, I firmly hold that we should NOT only protect useful
animals
Use synonyms
.
First
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 and foremost, the
throught
Correct your spelling
thought
 of protecting useful
animals
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 can not be executed in practice, as it is hard to determine what is useful. To be more specific,
people
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 with different cultural or economical backgrounds may have
different
Add an article
a different
show examples
definition
Fix the agreement mistake
definitions
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 of useful;
thus
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, it is hard to get a conclusion
of
Change preposition
about
show examples
 which
animals
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 can be useful to human beings. Not to mention that
,
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apply
show examples
 some
people
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 argue
human
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humans
show examples
 have no moral right to decide which
species
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 can survive.
Furthermore
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, the fact that
species
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 diversity is important for every
Use synonyms
animals
Change to a singular noun
animal
show examples
 indicates that we ought to protect all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
animals
Use synonyms
. Take the case of the changes in China in the late 20th -
people
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 at that time
regard
Wrong verb form
regarded
show examples
 some
species
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 like
rat
Fix the agreement mistake
rats
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 are harmful,
thus
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 the government encourage
people
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 to eliminate
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this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
species
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, reducing the
species
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 diversity, and leading to a huge impact on the environment. Had it not been for
this
Linking Words
camipagn
Correct your spelling
campaign
, we would have a better environment.
Nevertheless
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, a voice arises that protecting all the endangered
animals
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 will be a
fincial
Correct your spelling
financial
 burden. Ironically, we can earn more from protecting
animals
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, we can get money from tourists to zoos or habitats, and
people
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 can advance medical and scientific research
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 some
species
Use synonyms
, helping many
people
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 to cure their diseases, which
saving
Wrong verb form
saves
show examples
 a
lot
Add the preposition
oflot
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 money. In a
nut shell
Correct your spelling
nutshell
show examples
, I maintain that we should NOT only
the
Add a missing verb
be the
show examples
 useful
species
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. Admittedly, as my
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
 quote from James Madison goes, as long as the reason of man continues
fallible
Change preposition
to fallible
show examples
, different opinions will be formed, and some
people
Use synonyms
 may oppose me.
However
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, I believe they will compromise after being exposed to my article.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • endangered species
  • ecological balance
  • biodiversity
  • biocentric perspective
  • intrinsic value
  • moral and ethical considerations
  • interconnected
  • ecosystems
  • keystone species
  • ethical responsibility
  • ecological impact
  • sustainability
  • intrinsic worth
  • dominant species
  • future benefits
What to do next:
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