IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people think that the best way to solve global environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #cost #fuel
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Increasing the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 to decrease environmental
pollution
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 is a popular idea in many countries. In my opinion,
while
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 higher
fuel
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 costs may have certain effects, there are numerous methods to improve the
environment
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. On the one hand, there are certain reasons why increasing the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 is beneficial.
First,
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this
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 may help reduce
air
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pollution
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 from
vehicles
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.
This
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 is mainly because if the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 rises,
people
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 will
use
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 fewer personal
vehicles
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.
As a result
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, emissions from
vehicles
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 may decrease.
For example
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, during the Covid-19 pandemic,
people
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 rarely
use
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vehicles
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, so
air
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pollution
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 is significantly reduced.
Second,
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the amount of
pollution
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 from many factories may fall. The main reason is that when the price of fuels increases, many factories will
use
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 different power sources which are environmentally friendly
such
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 as solar energy or wind power.
On the other hand
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, the government should adopt other methods to resolve environmental issues.
To begin
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 with, investing in public transport may be an effective way. When the public transport system is developed and modern, more
people
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 will
use
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 public transport.
Therefore
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, the problem of
air
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pollution
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 may be lessened.
Moreover
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, planting new forests and protecting current ones
also
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 help protect the
environment
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. Every year, trees absorb a large amount of carbon dioxide and release oxygen into the
environment
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.
Also
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, the
air
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 may be fresh and conditioned by trees.
Therefore
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,
people
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 should exploit forests rationally and prevent forest fires. In conclusion,
although
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 increasing the
cost
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 of
fuel
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 has a lot of benefits, the government should care about different factors affecting the
environment
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.
Submitted by huynhtrucminhthu39 on

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Task Achievement
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear progression of ideas throughout the essay and use linking words to improve coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumption
  • emissions
  • alternative energy
  • conservation
  • mitigate
  • renewable energy technologies
  • affordability
  • collective action
  • innovation in energy efficiency
  • global cooperation
  • environmental measures
  • pollution
  • economic disparity
  • revenue
  • sustainable development
  • environmental sustainability
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