Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

#people #part #time #smartphone #development

Mobile phone is considered by many as something that they can live without it. Even the

time

is important for people, there are huge people not care about

waste

Wrong verb form

wasting

show examples

their

hour

Fix the agreement mistake

hours

show examples

. In

this

essay

Add a comma

,essay

show examples

I will explain my viewpoints in detail in the ensuing paragraph.

Firstly

time

management is important for anyone.

For instance

, you can manage your

time

when you learn or when you

leisure

Replace the word

leisurely

show examples

However

, the reason for wasting

time

is considered negative impact.

Phone

Add an article

The phone

show examples

is easy to carry

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

, and

Fix the infinitive

apply

show examples

use it. You can watch movies,

send

Correct word choice

and send

show examples

text

Fix the agreement mistake

texts

show examples

for

long

Change the article

a long

show examples

time

This

will affect

Change preposition

apply

show examples

your other work. It's clear that without

manag

Correct your spelling

manage

managing

your

time

and keeping wast it.

Thus

Correct your spelling

This

show examples

will

be becomes

Change the verb form

become

show examples

bad

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

Secondly

, everyone should

be have

Change the verb form

have

show examples

a goal.

For example

somone

Correct your spelling

someone

some

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

a goal

will

Correct pronoun usage

that will

show examples

let him

focusing

Change the form of the verb

focus

show examples

to achieve it.

Person

Add an article

A person

show examples

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

to study he will focus on that until he

finish

Change the verb form

finishes

show examples

This

will make him

mange

Correct your spelling

manage

show examples

his

time

and not

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

waste it.

Therefore

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

adverse

affect

Replace the word

effect

show examples

will happen if there is no goal to do in life. To summarise, management

time

is something significant to people and they should have a goal in life

otherwise

hours will lose.

As a result

, it's clear that

ther

Correct your spelling

there

they

the

will be

impact

Correct article usage

an impact

show examples

affect

fore

Correct your spelling

for

show examples

one who does not know how to

safe

Replace the word

save

show examples

his minute.

Submitted by mhoos.211 on Fri Dec 23 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

221 words

<40

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 checks
Get all the feedback you need to keep improving your charts and letters.
Unlimited Task 2 checks
Practice and perfect your skills with essays.
Personalized suggestions
Know how to boost your score.
Detailed mistakes analysis
Get instant feedback. Spot every mistake.
Topic ideas generator
Get topic-specific ideas to enhance your writing.
Vocabulary helper
Get the right words for any topic.
Progress tracking
Track your writing improvements.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

4
band
Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?
Smartphones had became a part of our day to day life. A few children spend time everyday on their mobile phones. Thus, it can develop several complications in young people life. In this essay, I will explain the case and determine by providing examples to support my thoughts.
4.5
band
In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?
Recently most entrepreneurs start to campaign their products as a breakthrough in some way when carry out the advertising. This then can be seen as a trial to market the product based on the uniqueness it has than other products. Personally, I agree that this trend can brings more positive development than the negative one.
6
band
Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
While it is sometimes thought that students in single-sex schools perform better academically, other people believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. In my opinion, I consider that studying in single-sex schools is better for the students to do their best in their studies.
7.5
band
In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.
20 years ago community socialized actively by gathering in groups and interacting with their neighbours, classmates, group mates, and other society. Nowadays, people tend to spend more time alone rather than being a part of a community. In this essay, I will go through the main causes of this situation and also possible opportunities that can help people socialize.
5.5
band
In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
There is an increasing trend in many countries that governments prefer to demolish old buildings and construct infrastructures in specific areas for public education , shopping , and work. Even though this trend has great benefits , its drawbacks are more significant . It is necessary to weigh up the merits and demerits of this plan .

Many people nowadays spend a large part of their free time using a smartphone What do you think are the reasons for this? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

In their advertising, business nowadays usually emphasizes that their products are new in some way. Why is this ? Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that students in single-sex schools perform better academically. Others, however, believe that mixed schools provide children with better social skills for adult life. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

In many cities, an increasing number of people do not know their neighbors, and the sense of community is lost. Discuss the causes and give measures to turn it around.

In many cities, planners tend to arrange shops, schools, offices and homes in specific areas and separate them from each other. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?