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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year', before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

5.5 / 9
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Introduction
Many young people choose to take a 'gap
year
Use synonyms
' to travel before starting university or entering the workforce, viewing it as an opportunity to broaden their horizons. Meanwhile, others believe that
this
Linking Words
 practice is an expensive waste of time. Personally, I consider taking a
year
Use synonyms
 off a beneficial experience for teenagers.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand, a gap
year
Use synonyms
 provides school graduates with an opportunity to gain valuable life experience. Travelling to different countries allows young people to learn how to communicate with diverse cultures, become independent, and adapt to unfamiliar environments.
Moreover
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, taking time off helps students to reflect on their future career paths
instead
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 of rushing into academic courses they might regret later.
Thus
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,
this
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 period allows youngsters to return to their studies with clear goals and higher motivation.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
Linking Words
, opponents argue that travelling for a
year
Use synonyms
 brings about
unnecessary
Correct article usage
an unnecessary
show examples
 financial burden. Exploring new places requires significant funding for accommodation, transport, and living expenses, which many families simply cannot afford.
Furthermore
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, taking a long break can cause students to lose their study routine and academic focus, making it harder to revert to traditional education afterwards.
As a result
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, some individuals might fall behind their peers who went directly to university.
Conclusion
From my point of view, taking a gap
year
Use synonyms
 is highly advantageous as it fosters maturity and self-development, which are essential for young adults.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
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 a
year
Use synonyms
 of travelling requires financial planning, the personal growth and global perspective it offers outweigh the potential drawbacks.

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task response
You discuss both sides and give a clear view. To make your answer stronger, add one real or clear example, such as a young person who learns a language, works abroad, or finds a better course after travel.
task response
Your main ideas are clear, but you could explain more why the good parts are more important than the cost and the loss of study time. This would make your final view more fully shown.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay has a clear order: introduction, one side, the other side, and your view. Keep this strong plan.
coherence and cohesion
Use a few more links inside each paragraph to show how one idea leads to the next. For example, after saying travel builds independence, explain how this can help at university or at work.
coherence and cohesion
The last paragraph repeats your view well, but it is quite short. You could join it more closely to the two earlier paragraphs by naming the cost and study concerns again before giving your final point.
task response
You answer all parts of the question: you show why some young people want a gap year, why others do not, and what you think.
task response
Your ideas are on topic and easy to understand. The points about learning from other cultures, future plans, cost, and study habits fit the question well.
coherence and cohesion
Each paragraph has one main purpose, so the reader can follow your ideas with ease.
coherence and cohesion
Words such as “Moreover”, “Furthermore”, “As a result”, and “Overall” help guide the reader through the essay.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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