IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some young people look forward to a year of travelling, a 'gap year', before they begin work or university and see it as a chance to broaden their horizons. For others this is an expensive waste of time. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✍️ Want to check your own essay?Try for free →
In recent years, many young people have chosen to take a “
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
” to travel before starting university or work.
While
Linking Words
 some believe
this
Linking Words
 is a valuable opportunity to broaden their horizons, others argue that it is a waste of time and money.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss both views and present my own opinion. On the one hand, taking a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can offer significant personal benefits. Travelling allows young people to experience different cultures, traditions, and ways of life, which can greatly expand their perspective.
In addition
Linking Words
, it helps them develop important life skills
such
Linking Words
 as independence, problem-solving, and communication.
For example
Linking Words
, managing a limited budget or navigating unfamiliar places can build confidence and maturity.
As a result
Linking Words
, many students return from their travels more focused and motivated about their future studies or careers.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are valid concerns about the disadvantages of a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, travelling can be expensive, and not all families can afford it.
This
Linking Words
 may create inequality between those who can take
such
Linking Words
 opportunities and those who cannot.
Secondly
Linking Words
, some young people may lose their academic momentum, making it harder for them to return to studying. In certain cases, a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 may be spent unproductively, without clear goals or meaningful experiences. In my opinion, a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 can be extremely beneficial if it is well planned and purposeful. Activities
such
Linking Words
 as volunteering, internships, or learning new skills can make the experience both enjoyable and valuable.
However
Linking Words
, without proper planning, it may indeed become a waste of time. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
 a
gap
Use synonyms
year
Use synonyms
 has some drawbacks, its advantages outweigh the disadvantages when used wisely.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
For task response, your answer covers both sides and gives your opinion. To get a higher score, add one more strong idea for each side.
task response
For task response, your example is clear, but it is still a bit general. Add a more real and specific example.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay is easy to follow and each paragraph has a clear job. To improve more, use linking words with a bit more range.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, some ideas could be developed more before you move to the next point.
task response
For task response, you answer all parts of the question and clearly give your opinion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.
coherence and cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, your ideas move in a logical order and are easy to understand.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: