IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the past, people ate local, in-season food, but now, people tend to consume out- of-season food from different parts of the world. Do the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #in-season #food #out- #of-season #parts #world
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Our ancestors had to try hard to become able to provide
food
 for every meal. They had no option of picking up a
take-away
Correct your spelling
takeaway
show examples
 but they would mostly collect
food
 from their own gardens and farms. Nowadays processes
such
 as globalization and
industralization
Correct your spelling
industrialization
industrialisation
 enabled us to freely come to the supermarket and buy all kinds of
food
, no matter the season or its origin. Is
this
 comfort a
privilage
Correct your spelling
privilege
 or
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
harm to
todays’
Change noun form
today’s
show examples
 generations?
To begin
 with, one who was picking up
seosanal
Correct your spelling
seasonal
food
 from one’s own garden, was secure of the
food
 source.
In other words
,
people
 knew how the
food
 was treated,
with
Correct word choice
and with
show examples
 what kind of chemicals.
Food
 was collected in season meaning that it grew naturally and that it was mostly eaten right
awa
Correct your spelling
away
Consequently
, even the
food
 choice was narrowed,
people
 had no chance of consuming
low quality
Add a hyphen
low-quality
show examples
, industrially made
food
,
such
 as fast
food
.
On the other hand
, it
seams
Correct your spelling
seems
show examples
 to me that
people
 would de facto work as farmers and gardeners just to provide
food
 for themselves which demanded a great amount of time and energy.
Therefore
, supermarkets are expeditiously saving us time. Not only that but
also
 we can easily try new
food
. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 we can explore new tastes and
also
 make our meal plan more diverse. In conclusion,
people
 in the past ate local, not chemically treated
food
 but they had to work hard in order to provide it.
Nowdays
Correct the word
Nowadays
show examples
,
people
 should try to buy local, keeping an eye on
food
 origin but
also
 its variety.
Submitted by nick.winsly on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: