IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

Today social skills are being more and more emphasized by employers. Some people believe that social skills are important besides good qualifications for their job success. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#skills #employers #people #qualifications #job #success
It is admitted that good social
skills
 are crucial to support individuals for their job success
besides
 their decent qualifications. I firmly agree with
this
 statement, considering some advantages of owning social
skills
.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that having good qualifications is essential for employees to manage their tasks.
However
, if somebody has good social
skills
, they will flourish their personality which can help them to socialize with other employees. I believe that
people
 with good social
skills
 tend to be more adaptive to any situation or social environment, because of their
ability
 to manage which behaviour is necessary to deal with a variety of conditions. If they are dealing with customers or clients,
for instance
, they will behave as professionals to obtain trust from those clients. In
this
 case,
people
 with good social
ability
 have more success compared to others who do not have any knowledge related to social relationships.
In addition
, because of their social
ability
 to deal with different kinds of groups,
people
 who are capable of performing social
skills
 are predicted to have a good future in
careers
Correct pronoun usage
their careers
show examples
. I strongly believe
this
 statement considering the fact that nowadays, the
ability
 to cooperate with other individuals is a strategy to achieve success in the workforce.
On the other hand
,
people
 who have good
skills
 in socializing are more open to criticisms
as well as
 suggestions.
Therefore
, they will have more perspectives compared to
people
 who do not have social
skills
.
For example
,
people
 who get advice from their colleagues will have others' points of view on something that could be helpful to them to think critically and to make decisions better. In conclusion, it is essential for individuals to have good social
skills
 to be successful in their careers because they facilitate your personality to be more versatile in any situation.
Submitted by firmansyahafandy99 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
While the introduction outlines the main idea well, ensure that you directly address the extent to which you agree with the statement in the introduction or conclusion. This precision will make your stance clearer.
task achievement
Try to elaborate more on the examples provided. Use specific instances that further back up your points for a stronger argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph transitions smoothly to the next. The first body paragraph flows well, but connections between ideas in the second body paragraph can be made clearer.
coherence cohesion
The introduction sets the context and the conclusion effectively summarizes the main idea.
task achievement
The essay addresses the prompt comprehensively and provides several reasons for the stance taken.
coherence cohesion
Main points are clearly stated and supported with relevant arguments.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: