IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

In some countries children have very strict rules of behaviour, while in other countries they are allowed to do almost anything they want. To what extent should children have to follow rules? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#countries #children #rules #behaviour
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In some cultures,
children
Use synonyms
 are asked to obey behaviour
rules
Use synonyms
 strictly, while in other cultures, they could do anything as freely as they want. In my opinion, both of them are not good choices.
Children
Use synonyms
 should definitely follow some
rules
Use synonyms
, but they
also
Linking Words
 should break
rules
Use synonyms
 sometimes. On the one hand, human beings are animals of society, which is composed of social
rules
Use synonyms
.
Children
Use synonyms
 obey
rules
Use synonyms
 to better adapt to the social environment, which would help with their future development. There are many
rules
Use synonyms
 that should be followed.
For example
Linking Words
, be honest. Honesty is a very important virtue, which is formed in childhood. Being honest will help
children
Use synonyms
 make more sincere friends. And it will help their career when they grow up in the commercial fields or any other ones.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, not all
rules
Use synonyms
 are correct since some of them result from power or social bias. The former,
for instance
Linking Words
, is not to suspect authority, from our parents to our government. In fact, every single man will make mistakes. Adults are not always right, as well as the state machine. Following incorrect
rules
Use synonyms
 without too much reflection could destroy
children
Use synonyms
's critical thinking and creativity, even worse, it could cause some disaster. The latter,
for example
Linking Words
, is not to dress up at school since in some cultures
children
Use synonyms
 will be considered not to concentrate on their studies after doing that. It's not so reasonable because
children
Use synonyms
 who are in pursuit of beauty could
also
Linking Words
 do their best in their studies.
Moreover
Linking Words
, adults take huge responsibilities to help in the process. In conclusion,
children
Use synonyms
 should obey some
rules
Use synonyms
 to better live in society.
However
Linking Words
, not all
rules
Use synonyms
 are worthy of following, because they may make
children
Use synonyms
 lose their ability to think independently, which would hinder the development of both themselves and society. It's the best choice for
children
Use synonyms
 to follow the
rules
Use synonyms
 when they really think about them carefully.
Submitted by songyk234 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • discipline
  • autonomy
  • safety
  • responsibility
  • creativity
  • critical thinking
  • independence
  • boundaries
  • rebellion
  • holistic development
  • structure
  • nurturing environment
  • behavioral expectations
  • social norms
  • authority
  • decision-making skills
  • consequences
  • respect
What to do next:
Look at other essays: