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Band 6

At present, the media affects people’s lives significantly.
What impact does this have on society? Is it a negative or positive development?

#media #people’s #lives #impact #society #development
In modern times, with the advancement of technology,
people
 are substantially impacted by the
media
. The primary impact is the creation of unreachable lifestyle paradigms, which I believe leads to significant negative developments in psychological spheres.
Firstly
, the current
media
 significantly influences how easily
people
 are swayed to follow perfect and unattainable paradigms of their lives.
Media
 outlets continuously showcase ideals of perfect bodies, health, and aspects of
life
 through movies, parades, and social
media
, creating a powerful mindset in
people
 who are constantly exposed to these images.
This
 results in most
people
 developing distorted views of the ideal way of
life
.
For example
, many famous brands use influencers on TikTok to promote their products, recognizing the allure these figures have on their followers who aspire to their lifestyles.
However
,
this
 pursuit of perfection and the resulting comparison with these ideals is damaging to
people
's psychology. Individuals continuously struggle to achieve these perfect ideals, affecting their self-esteem, relationships, and perspectives on
life
. The increase in psychiatric and psychological disorders
such
 as anxiety, depression, and eating disorders worldwide, alongside the rising influence of social
media
, exemplifies
this
 harmful trend.
To conclude
, one of the major impacts of
media
 on
people
's lives is the promotion of perfect
life
 perspectives, which creates unattainable levels of comparison between individuals.
Consequently
,
this
 leads to negative developments in psychological and emotional well-being.
Submitted by kahenahoffmann on

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task achievement
Your essay would benefit from the addition of more specific examples and data to substantiate your points further. For instance, you could include statistics or studies that highlight the correlation between media consumption and psychological disorders.
coherence cohesion
Although your essay flows well, there are some minor grammatical errors. For example, 'creating a powerful mindset in people who are constantly exposed to these images' could be rephrased for clarity to 'creating a powerful impact on the mindset of people constantly exposed to these images.'
introduction conclusion present
Your introduction and conclusion are both present and clearly articulate the main points of your essay. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument smoothly.
logical structure
The logical structure of your essay is strong, with clear paragraphs dedicated to specific points. This makes your argument easy to follow.
relevant specific examples
You provided relevant and specific examples, such as influencers on TikTok and their impact on followers, which illustrates your points effectively.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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