IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You have recently started work in a new company. Write a letter to an English- speaking friend. In your letter - explain why you changed jobs - describe your new job - tell him your ither news

#work #company #english- #friend #jobs #job #ither #news
Hi jack, How are you doing? I'm writing to tell you about my great news which you won't believe at first. do you remember how I loved my job? I
finally
 decided to change it but,
instead
, I found a better but very challenging and demanding job. To tell you the truth, I'm a flight attendant right now , it's amazing, even though it has its own difficulties, I enjoy it a lot. you knew I wished to work on the aeroplane one day
finally
 it became true.
besides
, I see different types of people from various countries who are talking with different accents and languages.
Moreover
, I started playing the guitar which I told you about
last
 month. It brings me joy when I play it in my free time. Hope to see you soon, write to me as soon as you can. Best wishes Keyhan
Submitted by keyhan454 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure all parts of the prompt are addressed clearly and directly in your letter. You've done well explaining your job change and describing your new job, but expand on the 'other news' section for a complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
For a more natural flow, try to connect your ideas and paragraphs more seamlessly. Use transition phrases between paragraphs and within them to guide the reader through your narrative smoothly.
Task Achievement
Maintain a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. Your informal and friendly tone matches the context of writing to a friend. Still, ensure every sentence contributes to this tone for an even more effective communication.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: