Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

#technology #people #cellphone #security #cameras #cases

Nowadays technology

had

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

increased in the past ten years and most of the information that we have searched for cell phone tracking and security cameras are monitored by search engine companies and governments or

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

anonymous. Many

society

Change to a plural noun

societies

show examples

do not catch that

this

is happening and most of them are not interested in

this

situation. There are many advantages to monitoring what

community

Correct article usage

the community

show examples

are saying and doing.

First,

the government can track the criminal’s cell

phone

Fix the agreement mistake

phones

show examples

and security cameras so that they can catch them immediately.

Second,

if there are elders in the household, youngers can take a look for elders and

seek

Correct your spelling

see

show examples

if there are emergency situations for them. But in my opinion, the pros of

this

case do not outweigh the cons. Maybe the disadvantages might overwhelm the advantages. tracking the personal information should be carried on seriously and many people should take care of

this

case and protect their privacy . The number of residents who

lives

Change the verb form

live

show examples

apartment

Add an article

an apartment

show examples

in Korea is sinking in

this

case. Most of the brand-new apartments have a wall pad in their accommodations,

this

device includes an HD camera, which allows residents to call to neighbourhoods.

However

, many criminals hack

this

wall pad and sell the sensitive videos to

another

Correct quantifier usage

others

show examples

. To handle

this

serious problem, we should keep our privacy ourselves.

First,

we can block the camera with the tapes and stickers.

This

is the main solution for blocking criminals

to hack

Change preposition

from hacking

show examples

a camera.

Second,

people can use high-secured devices, like an iPhone. Apple’s devices have developed security systems so that anonymous hackers cannot hack them. Eventually, because there are bigger cons than pros in

this

situation, people should take care

for

Change preposition

show examples

this

problem and protect their privacy .

Submitted by soominkim0618 on Sat Dec 24 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Grammar mistakes
 

1 paragraphs

287 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

Surveillance
Cell phone tracking
Security cameras
Privacy invasion
Data security
Crime prevention
Transparency
Accountability
Customer service
Misuse of data
Breach
Identity theft
Autonomy
Efficiency
Psychological impact
Awareness

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Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cellphone tracking and security cameras).In many cases,the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening.

Include an introduction and conclusion

The best way that a government can reduce the traffic congestion in cities is to provide public transport free of cost to people 24 hours a day and 7 days a week. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. Why might this be the case? What could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some employers offer their employees subsidised membership of gyms and sport clubs, believing that this will make their staff healthier and thus more effective at work. Other employers see no benefit in doing so. Consider the argument from both aspect of this possible debate, and reach conclusion.

Some people say that in all levels of education, from primary schools to universities, too much time is spent on learning facts and not enough on learning practical skills. To what extent do you agree or disagree?