Obesity is a major health problem. What are the causes of this problem? What can be done to solve this problem?
Most
people
are overweight, which leads to obesity
that
is a major health issue. Correct pronoun usage
which
This
essay discusses the causes and solutions of this
problem.
The first cause of obesity
is that people
often eat unhealthy food
. That is
an effect of their hustle life. So, they often eat a quick meal such
as fast food
. Because it's easy for them. However
, fast food
contains a lot of flour, sugar, and fat. That is
a high calorie. If people
consume too much It is a cause of weight gain and leads to obesity
. To solve this
problem, the government should educate the public about the importance of healthy food
, and how to eat better. Moreover
,they should manage the price of healthy food
cheaply and make it easy to buy. As a result
, people
have a recognition of healthy food
and have the ability to access
.
Another cause of Correct pronoun usage
access it
obesity
is that people
tend to overeat. When people
are feeling stressed they want to eat sweet things. For instance
, Some people
often eat a lot of candy. That makes them overweight because 90% of candy ingredients are sugar. To address this
problem, the government should launch an advertisement to encourage people
to exercise and give guidance to them. Moreover
, They should build places for people
to play and exercise. Therefore
, people
will know how to reduce feeling stressed by exercise instead
of overeating and can improve their health.
In conclusion, the two causes of obesity
are unhealthy food
and overeating. People
and the government should participate in adjusting their food
habits and activities for better health.Submitted by jeebjib14 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
coherence cohesion
The essay is generally well-structured, but consider providing a clearer thesis statement in the introduction. This gives the reader a clear idea of what to expect.
task achievement
Make sure to expand on each point slightly more, providing additional details or examples where possible.
task achievement
Be careful with minor grammatical errors and structuring of sentences for clearer understanding. For example, 'That is an effect of their hustle life' could be 'This is due to their hectic lifestyle.'
task achievement
The essay includes both causes and solutions in a balanced manner, addressing the prompt well.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as the preference for fast food due to busy lifestyles, is apt and relevant.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and offers a call to action, which is good for coherence.