Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #children #time #school #work #reason

Childhood

time

is the most important

our

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

growth phase,

this

time

make

children

learn how to play, and learn new thing and

this

stage gives shape to our child in future. When they start

school

, the

time

has been divided to play and

study

. During

this

time

some people believe that

children

should not be given too much free

time

, and they should do more

school

work

and some think the other way. In my opinion, pupils should do more

school

work

and

this

essay will explain it in more detail about it.

Firstly

, we all knew that education is most important for all ages. Without education,

Correct pronoun usage

one

show examples

will make us lack

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all the perspectives from

this

world, including self-esteem. When the pupils start to learn we need to encourage them to focus on

study

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and make them feel enjoying the phase of the

study

Moreover

children

can adapt easily to the way we teach them at the beginning of their childhood compared to adults.

In addition

, if they do schoolwork regularly, it will make them faster learners, because when they do the exercise, they train the brain to

work

effectively and efficiently.

On the other hand

, pupils that have given more free

time

when the

school

will make them not interested in studying, and they will not focus on learning, and they will spend most of their

time

playing include in classes.

This

will affect their progress of growth and they will not be able to catch up with their studies. Some of them will lose interest to go to

school

and we cannot let

this

happens. In conclusion, all

children

should spend their free

time

with

study

or doing

school

work

, and all

this activity

Fix the agreement mistake

these activities

show examples

can secure a bright future for them.

Submitted by yannaunghlaing on Sun Dec 25 2022

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Fully explain your ideas

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

295 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people says we should plant trees on free space jn city and town while some says that we should do construction. Do you agree or disagree?

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disanvantages of giving children this message?

check the grammer and improve my essay to 6.5 ietls