Some people believe that children are given too much free time. They feel that this time be used to do more school work. How do you think children should spend their free time? Give reason for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Childhood
time
is the most important
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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growth phase,
this
time
make
children
learn how to play, and learn new thing and
this
stage gives shape to our child in future. When they start
school
, the
time
has been divided to play and
study
. During
this
time
some people believe that
children
should not be given too much free
time
, and they should do more
school
work
and some think the other way. In my opinion, pupils should do more
school
work
and
this
essay will explain it in more detail about it.
Firstly
, we all knew that education is most important for all ages. Without education,
it
Correct pronoun usage
one
show examples
will make us lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
all the perspectives from
this
world, including self-esteem. When the pupils start to learn we need to encourage them to focus on
study
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
and make them feel enjoying the phase of the
study
.
Moreover
,
children
can adapt easily to the way we teach them at the beginning of their childhood compared to adults.
In addition
, if they do schoolwork regularly, it will make them faster learners, because when they do the exercise, they train the brain to
work
effectively and efficiently.
On the other hand
, pupils that have given more free
time
when the
school
will make them not interested in studying, and they will not focus on learning, and they will spend most of their
time
playing include in classes.
This
will affect their progress of growth and they will not be able to catch up with their studies. Some of them will lose interest to go to
school
and we cannot let
this
happens. In conclusion, all
children
should spend their free
time
with
study
or doing
school
work
, and all
this activity
Fix the agreement mistake
these activities
show examples
can secure a bright future for them.
Submitted by yannaunghlaing on

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    • Sentence 2 - Example
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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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