IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In modern times, people are more under stress more than ever. This has a negative impact on their well-being. State some of the causes and suggest possible solutions.

#times #people #stress #impact
The world is changing rapidly and now we facing
problems
 that did not exist some decades back.The nature of workload has changed,machines and technology have made our physical load go away but mental stress has increased.In my opinion,the main causes of
this
 scenario are financial crisis and lack of social life and equipping oneself with modern education and taking some
time
 off to spend
time
 with family and friends are solutions for these
problems
 ,respectively.
To begin
 with,financial instability is one of the major
problems
 faced by most
people
 worldwide which is the main cause of stress.Nowadays,the ones doing two or even three jobs hardly make ends meet and not being able to provide for oneself and the family is a major source of mental strain.According to a WHO mental health survey report,depression is most common in
people
 who are unable to provide for their families.
Hence
,financial strain continues to cause mental tension.
Similarly
,man is a social animal and tends to be depressed,if isolated.Putting food on the table has become difficult with only a job,due to which
people
 are forced to look for more jobs that kill their social life and they hardly spend
time
 with their loved ones.And according to basic human psychology,spending some
time
 during the day with family and friends can do away with mental health issues,but sadly most
people
 do not find
such
time
 nowadays.
Thus
,being socially isolated can be a major cause of depression. Most
problems
 come with solutions,and to deal with modern-day issues one has to upgrade himself
accordingly
.
Firstly
, a financial crisis can be dealt with by learning about new earning sources.
For instance
,during the COVID pandemic,when most of the physical markets were closed,some businessmen still earned their livelihood by adapting themself according to the scenario by shifting towards online businesses.
Secondly
,despite the busy lifestyle if a person
allots
Correct your spelling
allows
show examples
 a few days of the month or at least a few hours of the day he can avoid social isolation and ultimately depression.
Therefore
,one has changed himself according to the
time
 he is living in. To conclude,each
time
 has its own issues and
problems
.In earlier days, the load was of physical nature while today it is more mental in nature.
Nonetheless
,these
problems
 can be dealt with only if the person is willing to adapt according to the situation and
time
.
Submitted by saphire8619 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: