IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7

In the past, when students did a university degree, they tended to study in their own country. Nowadays, they have more opportunity to abroad. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this development? You should use your own ideas, knowledge and experience and support your arguments with examples and relevant evidences

#students #university #study #country #opportunity #development #support #arguments #evidences
In the modern era today,
pupils
 have more options to study in their homeland or in another
country
. In
this
 essay, I will show some benefits and drawbacks of studying in another
country
 rather than in their homeland. First of all, there are some benefits from studying abroad like networking opportunities, getting global experiences, and developing personal growth. College
students
 who are studying in another
country
 will get wider networking opportunities than the local college
students
. They can have an international network that may be useful for their future career.
Pupils
 who study abroad
also
 can get global experiences from living in another
country
. They can gain a broader perspective from interaction with many people who have diverse cultures. Living abroad may help
students
 to develop their personality. They will become stronger, more independent, and adaptable in a new place. On the other side, there are some drawbacks to studying in another
country
 like the high costs, language barriers, and homesickness. Parents should provide more money to send their children abroad because learning in the other
country
 is expensive. Parents have to pay tuition fees and
also
 the living costs abroad.
Pupils
 may have a challenge to communicate in their new
country
 if they don't prepare to learn the foreign language where they will study. And
last
 but not least
students
 may get homesick because they will live far from their family and friends.
To conclude
, studying abroad may give
pupils
 many advantages but there are
also
 many challenges that they should face. And the decision is up to them, the options are open
Submitted by cracko.eko on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
You have provided a clear introduction and conclusion which helps in understanding the structure of the essay. However, try to provide more specific examples or evidence to support your points. This will make your argument stronger and more compelling.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on refining your logical structure. While the essay is easy to follow, it would benefit from clearer transitions between points and paragraphs, enhancing the flow of information.
Task Achievement
Your essay contains a clear introduction and conclusion, which effectively frame your discussion.
Coherence & Cohesion
You did a good job on balancing the advantages and disadvantages evenly, providing a comprehensive view of the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Global Exposure
  • Diverse Cultures
  • Language Proficiency
  • Networking Opportunities
  • International Network
  • Enhanced CV
  • Personal Growth
  • Independence
  • Adaptability
  • Resilience
  • High Costs
  • Tuition Fees
  • Living Expenses
  • Homesickness
  • Cultural Barriers
  • Culture Shock
  • Recognition of Qualifications
  • Language Barriers
  • Social Settings
  • Academic Settings
What to do next:
Look at other essays: