Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In recent years working parents have
to
Add a missing verb
had to
show examples
devote
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
most time to working. In
this
regard, some debates are held about whether relatives like grandparents should look after
children
or
child
care
centres
. I side with those parents who think
child
Correct your spelling
childcare
show examples
care
institutions are a better place for
children
to spend time in which I will discuss both views in detail as follows:
child
care
institutions are beneficial to
children
since I am of the opinion that these places provide an environment in which
children
can communicate with their peers;
therefore
, their social interaction
such
as making friends,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
show examples
in
Add an article
the group
a group
show examples
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
will be improved and it is more likely to become self-confident and successful people in future.
Besides
, in
such
centres
children
have access to educational and recreational facilities that make them not only develop their potential
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
show examples
like learning
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
language but
also
enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
show examples
their time.
Conversely
, many believe that family members are more reliable to watch
children
since they are much
meticulous
Correct quantifier usage
more meticulous
show examples
about
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
requirements.
In addition
,
children
who are cared
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
child
Correct your spelling
childcare
show examples
care
centres
are in danger of physical or verbal harm by their peers.
However
, there are
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
difficulties in
this
kind of taking
care
. In some ways, family members are not able to entertain
children
due to their physical disability or low tolerance which might lead to
isolation
Add an article
the isolation
show examples
of
children
. In conclusion,
child
care
centres
are more suitable for
children
in comparison to being
took
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
care
by
Change preposition
of by
show examples
relatives. The reason for
this
is that
this
condition
result
Change the verb form
results
show examples
in
extension
Add an article
an extension
the extension
show examples
of social skills,
confident
Replace the word
confidence
show examples
and prosperity in future.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: