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Writing Samples
Band 5

Nowadays, many familiar have both parents working. Some working parents believe other family members like grandparents can take care of their children, while other think child care centres provide the best care. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#parents #members #grandparents #care #children #child #centres
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In recent years working parents have
to
Add a missing verb
had to
show examples
 devote
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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most time to working. In
this
Linking Words
 regard, some debates are held about whether relatives like grandparents should look after
children
Use synonyms
 or
child
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care
Use synonyms
centres
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. I side with those parents who think
Use synonyms
child
Correct your spelling
childcare
show examples
care
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 institutions are a better place for
children
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 to spend time in which I will discuss both views in detail as follows:
child
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care
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 institutions are beneficial to
children
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 since I am of the opinion that these places provide an environment in which
children
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 can communicate with their peers;
therefore
Linking Words
, their social interaction
such
Linking Words
 as making friends,
playing
Correct word choice
and playing
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 in
Add an article
the group
a group
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group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
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 will be improved and it is more likely to become self-confident and successful people in future.
Besides
Linking Words
, in
such
Linking Words
centres
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children
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 have access to educational and recreational facilities that make them not only develop their potential
talent
Fix the agreement mistake
talents
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 like learning
new
Add an article
a new
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 language but
also
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enjoying
Wrong verb form
enjoy
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 their time.
Conversely
Linking Words
, many believe that family members are more reliable to watch
children
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 since they are much
meticulous
Correct quantifier usage
more meticulous
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 about
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children
Change noun form
children's
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 requirements.
In addition
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,
children
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 who are cared
by
Change preposition
for by
show examples
Use synonyms
child
Correct your spelling
childcare
show examples
care
Use synonyms
centres
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 are in danger of physical or verbal harm by their peers.
However
Linking Words
, there are
much
Change the quantifier
many
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 difficulties in
this
Linking Words
 kind of taking
care
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. In some ways, family members are not able to entertain
children
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 due to their physical disability or low tolerance which might lead to
isolation
Add an article
the isolation
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 of
children
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. In conclusion,
child
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care
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centres
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 are more suitable for
children
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 in comparison to being
took
Wrong verb form
taken
show examples
care
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
of by
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 relatives. The reason for
this
Linking Words
 is that
this
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 condition
result
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results
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 in
extension
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an extension
the extension
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 of social skills,
confident
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confidence
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 and prosperity in future.
Submitted by TUTOO on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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