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Writing Samples
Band 7

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Some
people
 believe that parents of children who attend private
schools
 should not need to contribute to state
schools
 through taxes. 2,Personally, I completely disagree with
this
 view. For a variety of reasons, it would be wrong to reduce taxes for families who pay for private
education
.
Firstly
, it would be difficult to calculate the correct amount of
tax
 reduction for these families, and staff would be required to manage
this
 complex process.
Secondly
, we all pay a certain amount of
tax
 for public services that we may not use.
For example
, most
people
 are fortunate enough not to have to call the police or fire brigade at any time in their lives, but they would not expect a
tax
 reduction for
this
.
Finally
, if wealthy families were given a
tax
 discount for sending their children to private
schools
, we might have a situation where poorer
people
 pay higher taxes than the rich. In my opinion, we should all be happy to pay our share of the money that supports public
schools
. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a high-quality
education
 system with equal opportunities for all young
people
.
This
 will result in a well-educated workforce
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and in turn a more productive and prosperous nation. Parents of children in private
schools
 may
also
 see the advantages of
this
 in their own lives.
For example
, a company owner will need well-qualified and competent staff, and a well-funded
education
 system can provide
such
 employees. 1,In conclusion, I do not believe that any financial concessions should be made for
people
 who choose private
education
.
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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
For Coherence and Cohesion, focus on improving transitions between paragraphs and ideas. Use a wider range of linking phrases and ensure each paragraph flows logically from one to the next. This will enhance the readability and cohesion of your essay.

Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
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