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Band 4

Obesity is now a major global epidemic. What can be done to tackle this increasingly common problem?

#obesity #epidemic
Nowadays, we often hear about health problems caused by an unhealthy diet. One of these is represented by
obesity
, which has reached an epic proportion around the world. To solve
this
 problem,
government
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the government
show examples
 should play a significant role by applying
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 higher tax rate on certain types of
food
 and increasing
people
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people's
show examples
 awareness about
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
’s effects. On the one hand, the government should address the overweight problem by imposing high taxes on those foods which determine the issue
such
us
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 junk
food
 and fast
food
. In fact, the countries where
obesity
 has reached
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 high rate among
population
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the population
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 are those where there are various chain restaurants which offer
food
 with too much fat, salt and sugar. One of the main
example
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examples
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 is represented by
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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 where there are plenty of
McDonalds
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Mcdonald's
Mcdonalds'
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 and Burger Kings.
Therefore
, if fatty
food
become
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becomes
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 costly, it might discourage
people
 from eating it on a regular basis and,
thus
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
obesity
 could be mitigated.
On the other hand
,
people
 should be informed about problems arising from an unhealthy diet. It could be done by performing a massive publicity campaign against those foods which are
armful
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harmful
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 for the human body through televisions,
school
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schools
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, media and so on. Indeed, many
people
 don’t know the risk that
run
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runs
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by
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with
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 eating unhealthy fats and foods with a lot of calories.
For instance
, in
Japan
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,Japan
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 a similar initiative reduced the percentage of
people
 who were struggling with
obesity
.
Hence
, if citizens are made enlightened about the several
obesity
 diseases,
such
 as diabetes and heart problems, they will probably limit the unhealthy eating In conclusion, the
obesity
 problem can be solved by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
government actions both directly, by determining a
food
 price increase through
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 higher tax rate, and indirectly via sensibilization campaigns aimed to inform
people
 about the negative consequences of being
over-weight
Correct your spelling
overweight
show examples
.
Submitted by salvatore.mamone94 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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