Some people believe the aim of university education is to help graduates get better jobs. Others believe there are much wider benefits of university education for both individuals and society. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays, the benefits of having an education at university are commonly discussed. Few individuals still argue that it’s just to get a better job,
although
others think that the
overall
gain is much larger and more impactful. I personally believe that college students are graduating with the mindset of an entrepreneur and are
also
concerned about the social welfare of the world. There are several advantages to getting a degree rather than getting employed under someone else. Individuals are opting for courses which help them to start something of their own and to
support
Correct pronoun usage
support this
show examples
, institutes are amending their curriculum
according to
the latest
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
and requirements.
According to
a survey, 65% of recent pass-outs from some elite universities had denied the placements offered to them as they want to invest their time in their own start-up which can lead to more job opportunities in future which in return can solve the problem of unemployment in the country.
Furthermore
, the upcoming generation is focused not only
to earn
Change preposition
on earning
show examples
money but
also
towards social welfare. Many of them go to these educational institutions to study the current social and economic problems and
therefore
, be a part of a movement which can solve the crisis and make
this
society a better place to live. They consider their innovative ideas and unity amongst each other can provide better satisfaction than any job can offer.
To conclude
, we are evolving every day to be a better version of ourselves and colleges have updated themselves to support the change.
Hence
, now they not only provide better employment opportunities but fulfil the
demand
Fix the agreement mistake
demands
show examples
of the community
as well as
the individuals.
Submitted by mailtoritika.chandwani on

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task response
Provide a more balanced discussion of both views rather than focusing primarily on one viewpoint.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph is logically connected and that the essay flows smoothly from one point to the next.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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